Babies Will Always Be Cute
by ally127
Summary: Ever wonder what would happen if Duo and Heero got turned into babies? Read and find out what humorous and awkward adventures are in store for them!
1. Mission: Considerable

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, duh! If I did, I wouldn't be considered a "fan", so then why would I be writing stories at FANfiction? Oh well…

A/N: Yay!! The first chapter of my 2nd fic!! I hope ya guys like it.  Oh, by the way, I really appreciated all ur reviews for my other fic *sniffle sniffle* u like me, u really like me! ^.^ *dramatic voice*. Am I boring u? *gasp* O.o don't hate me!! ok, ok, enough of that. Here's the fic…  "Babies Will Always Be Cute"

~~~Mission: Considerable~~~

            It was a peaceful day at Quatre's mansion. The five gundam pilots were relaxing in one of the comfortable dining rooms eating a special Arabic dish, cooked by Quatre himself, and a spot of tea (In Duo's case, it was literally a "spot" of tea. Actually, it was more like a "dot" of tea. He complained, of course, but once Trowa took out a pair of scissors, Duo kept his big mouth shut). They had just finished their meal when they heard that a guest had arrived. It was Doctor J. He stepped into the dinning room and singled out Heero.

"I need you to come with me back to the lab, Heero. I have a mission for you," he ordered. Heero's eyes lit up for a brief moment. It's been a long time since he had a mission and was feeling empty without one. Heero nodded to Dr. J and walked over to him.

"Hey! Can I come?" Duo's eyes lit up too. Quatre's mansion was a little too fancy for him and he wanted to get out. But, he also wanted to participate in a mission. It sounded fun! Or so he thought…

"You may join Heero if you like," Dr. J responded. Heero shuddered and kept moving towards the exit with Duo following right alongside him, and Dr. J close by.

After what seemed like an extremely long trip in the car, (Duo was counting "slug bugs" while slugging Heero in the arm. Heero was using all his energy not to hit him back on impulse, but whenever he saw a slug bug that Duo missed, he wouldn't pass up the opportunity to slug him… hard.) they finally arrived at the laboratory. Dr. J escorted the two bruised teenagers to an isolated room. Inside, there was a strange looking piece of equipment. It had wires, gadgets, buttons, levers, and a space inside big enough to fit a person (or two ^.~).

"Ooo… what does this doohickey do?" Duo said with curiosity and a side of stupidity.

"I haven't given it a name yet, but this device will reverse cell growth activity within a body and in turn, reverse age," Dr. J answered. ((I stink at science. That probably made no sense… oh well, just bear with me and use ur imagination to pretend that it sounded smart and professional… heh heh ^.^;;))

"Wow! Really? Cool!"

"Does it work," Heero was the first one to ask an intelligent question.

"Well, *pause* we have tested various rabbits which all had different reactions," Dr. J suspiciously responded.

"What kind of reactions?" Heero doubtingly asked.

"Let's just forget about it!" Duo cut in. "It's a nice thingamabob, Dr. J, but what's our mission? C'mon! Let's get some action here!" 

"Well, Duo, I do, indeed have an action-packed mission for you two. It will require courage, determination, skill, strength, and nerves of steal,"

"Alright! Let's do it! I'm ready!!" Duo was obviously excited.

"Your thrilling mission will be…" Dr. J took a dramatic pause and stood next to his mysterious device. "… to get inside this machine!" Duo and Heero fell over. O.o;;;

"THAT'S IT??! THAT'S the mission?! To get inside that stupid piece of junk?!" Duo yelled.

"Yes, that's the mission. Do you both accept?"

"Have you even tested this on humans yet?!" Heero looked irritated.

"Well…. no, but you two will have the honor and the privilege of being the first humans!" Dr. J reassured, which was NOT reassuring.

"There's no way I'm getting in there!" Duo protested. "You have that same look in your eyes that Dr. G had when he told me I would be able to fly if I drank that blue stuff!"

"You believed that?" Heero sweat dropped.

"That stuff gave me diarrhea and constipation at the same time!"

"At the same time???" Heero was confused and disgusted.

"Yeah! You see, what happened was—" 

"SHUT UP!! What makes you think I want to know?!!" Heero's mind was filled with disturbing images and it was making him sick.

"Well, you DID ask."

"That doesn't mean I wanted to know!"

"Sure it does, duh!" Duo teased as he stuck out his tongue. Heero was fuming and was about ready to rip out that mocking tongue and strangle him with it. Luckily for Duo, Dr. J stood between them and stopped him.

"Heero, if you step inside my machine, then I'll die Duo's hair 'carnation pink'," Dr. J grinned. ((I would have made Dr. J wink, but he wears those thingies over his eyes, so it's kinda hard for the characters to notice if he winks or is asleep for that matter!))

"Mission accepted," Heero immediately said and stepped inside the machine. Duo, on the other hand, was not happy. When he heard the words "carnation pink" his eyes got as big as tennis balls.

"WHOA!! HEY, NO WAY!!" Duo protested. His veins pulsated on his forehead. (By the way, the dent in his head healed just nicely and Duo fully recovered. His mental state, however, I'm not sure ^.~) Dr. J leaned over to Duo.

"If you get inside too, then I'll die Heero's hair 'tickle me pink'," he whispered. (("Carnation pink" and "tickle me pink" are real colors. ^.~ Thank you, Crayola Crayons!)) Duo instantly accepted Dr. J's offer and jumped inside the machine, and without delay, Dr. J pulled the lever and activated the contraption. All of the sudden, there was a rumbling noise, a flash of light, and the entire laboratory went black…

A/N: Well, that was chapter numero uno! Well, you already know what happens to Heero and Duo, but if you wanna know how they deal with it, then stay tuned!! Reviews are more than welcomed! I'm also open for improvements! (hmm… that's weird… all my sentences here end with exclamation points… I think I got overly excited there for a moment ^.^;;)


	2. Mission: Regrettable

A/N: I'm really sorry for taking so long to update, but I'm finally back for round 2! Hope ya enjoy reading this! 

~~~Mission: Regrettable~~~

            The machine took up so much power, that it had blown a fuse. Dr. J scrambled to locate the fuse box, which was awfully hard in the dark. He finally found it and made the necessary connections to gain back the power. The lights came on, but all Dr. J could see was a cloud of smoke clearing and then he heard a mysterious sound. The sound was two figures coughing, probably from all the smoke. But the figures didn't quite sound like Duo or Heero. When the smoke completely cleared up, Dr. J peered inside the machine, but he saw nothing; it was empty. Then he looked down. On the floor, there were two separate piles of Duo and Heero's clothing. 

"What have I done?" Dr. J said at last. But then he saw the piles of clothing move. He lifted up the two piles of clothes and uncovered two little babies! One baby had a long braid and a dumbfounded look and the other baby had serious look. "Heero? Duo?" 

A/N: ok, so ur not confused: Since Heero and Duo got turned into babies, they lack the ability to speak. When they DO talk, it'll be to in baby language and it will be shown in italics. Just think of "Rugrats" ^.~

            Duo was really puzzled. All he could remember is snickering under his breath about how funky Heero would look if he had 'tickly me pink' hair and then he saw a flash a light. He looked at Heero and burst out laughing. 

"_HA HA!! You're a baby! You look ridiculous!!_" Duo chuckled.

"_Me?! What about you?!_" Heero retorted. At first, Duo didn't understand, that is, until he looked down.

"_AAHHH!!! I'm naked!!_" Duo screamed and yelled in his little baby voice. Heero sweat dropped.

"_Of course you're naked! You're a baby! We both are, baka!!_" 

            Dr. J found this very amusing. Not only did he discover a way to literally grow younger, but also this back and forth babble of baby talk between Heero and Duo was priceless. With that, he scooped up Heero and Duo and wrapped them up in blankets. Throughout the entire time, Dr. J was being bombarded with baby jabber. Apparently, Heero and Duo were trying to talk to him and at the same time, arguing with each other.

"_It's no use… he can't understand us._" Heero surrendered. 

"_Either that, or he's being a real jerk and ignoring us!_" Duo responded. 

"_This is all your fault!_" Heero growled. "_If you hadn't been so annoying, then I wouldn't have wanted revenge and I wouldn't have agreed with Dr. J's bribe!!_"

"_Hey! You can't blame me for this!_" Duo argued.

"_Sure I can! You are an annoyance and for that I wanted retribution!!_"

"_Yeah, right!! You would've wanted to see me with pink hair whether I was annoying or not! See! So, you can't blame me!_"

"_Well, everything is always your fault anyways, so I'm used to blaming you!_" Heero stated victoriously. While they were arguing, Heero and Duo were placed in a car and securely fastened as Dr. J started the engine. As soon as they started moving, they ceased their arguing.

"_Hey, are we going somewhere?_" Duo stupidly questioned even though he received a 'duh' expression from Heero. "_I mean, where are we going?_" Duo chuckled as he corrected himself. Heero didn't answer. He just sat there with his arms crossed. Duo recognized that look. It meant 'Leave me alone, Duo'. Feeling defeated, he sat there as well, bored. He looked at his plushy body. Heero glanced out of the corner of his eye and saw Duo squirming about and flaying his arms and legs vigorously. 

"_What are you doing?_" Heero just had to ask… I mean, Duo was acting like a possessed noodle for crying out loud! Duo looked up at Heero with a wide smile.

"_Check this out, Heero! I was never this flexible! Look! I can put my legs behind my head!!_" Duo demonstrated and then, all of the sudden, stopped smiling. "_Uh… Heero? I think I'm stuck…_" 

"_You think you're stuck?_" Heero smirked and raised an eyebrow.

"_Ok! Ok! I am stuck! Can you help a friend in need here?_" As soon as he finished asking for assistance, the car stopped and Heero became inattentive to Duo's whining. "_Heero? Hey, Heero! C'mon, man, I'm serious! This is uncomfortable!_" Dr. J opened the car door and picked up Heero. As soon as he saw Duo, he sweat dropped. Duo was slightly embarrassed, but nonetheless, he attempted to 'crawl' along the seat to get closer to Dr. J. He was unsuccessful, of course, and fell flat on his face. Heero and Dr. J shook their heads in pity. Dr. J propped him up, untwisted his legs, and picked him up. Quatre's Mansion came into view.

"_Huh? Why are we back at Quatre's place? Isn't Doc gonna fix us?_" Duo wondered out loud. Heero didn't respond; he was puzzled as well. Dr. J walked up to the mansion and rang the bell for service. Quatre answered to the call and opened the door finding Dr. J holding two cute, little babies in each arm. 

"Good afternoon, Quatre." He greeted respectfully. "Here you go and good luck!" Dr. J shoved the Heero and Duo in Quatre's face, forcing him to grab them, and with that Dr. J walked away.  

"Hey, Wait!" Quatre yelled back before Dr. J escaped. "Who are these infants and what do I with them?"

"Just take care of them. I need to make some repairs back at the lab and I don't need them getting in my way. I'll contact you as soon as I'm done," He responded and drove away.

Quatre closed the door and walked back towards the dinning room where Trowa and Wufei were waiting silently for his return. As he was walking, he gazed at the two infants. There was something familiar about these two, but he couldn't quite place his finger on it. Duo was squirming around to get comfortable and it was annoying Heero. At last, Heero kicked Duo. 

"_Will you stop that?!_" He raised his voice. "_You're making Quatre lose his grip._"

"_But I can't get comfy!_" Duo defended himself.

"_Then quit being a baby and deal with it._"

"_But I am a baby…_" Heero was silent. Quatre couldn't help but smile at how animated these babies were. Then it hit him. He noticed Duo's braid and recognized Heero's expression. He set them down on the floor, got on his hands and knees, and examined them further.

"Heero? Duo? A-are you…?" Quatre was up close and wide-eyed. 

"_Yeah! Yeah! It's us!!_" Duo nodded vigorously. Quatre understood the nod, but not the baby rants. Despite the communication difficulty, he was convinced. No one can imitate Duo's goofy smile.

"B-but how?!" Quatre was completely taken back. He received more gibberish from Duo, but couldn't follow at all what he was saying.  

"_Will you stop talking? He can't understand you,_" Heero interrupted as calmly as he could.

"_Oh yeah, I forgot…_" Duo admitted. Quatre didn't know what to do. He scooped them up and carried them to the dinning room. Trowa and Wufei hadn't moved a muscle since he left.

"Look what happened to Heero and Duo!!" he shouted as he placed them on the table right in front of them. Heero sat there with his arms crossed and Duo was having trouble keeping his balance. Wufei and Trowa both had blank expressions. 

"What are you talking about, Winner?" Wufei questioned.

"These two babies are Duo and Heero!" Quatre tried to explain.

"How can that be? Elaborate!" Wufei demanded.

"But that's the thing! I don't know how they got this way! Dr. J just came by and placed them in my arms! He told me to take care of them, but he never told me who these babies were," Quatre panicked.

"Then how do you know it's them?" Trowa suggested.  

"Well, just look at them!" They obeyed Quatre and inspected the toddlers. Heero kept his stern look and Duo winked at Trowa and Wufei with his silly grin. 

"It's really them!" Wufei gasped. "Hmm… so this is the perfect soldier…" Wufei smirked, suddenly changing his expression. Of course, Heero didn't like the way he was being mocked and yelled various curses to his face. 

"_He can't understand you, ya know._" Duo interrupted his baby cursing with an arched eyebrow. Heero whipped around toward Duo and gave him a stern and frustrated look that meant: "I KNOW!!!"

"So, what are you planning to do with them, Quatre?" Trowa asked bluntly.  

"Well," Quatre pondered for a moment, "I guess we'll have to dress them in more suitable clothing."

" What? We? Did you say 'we'?" Wufei didn't want any part of this. He obviously liked to tease Heero, but he detests babies and hated to take care of them. "Babies are weak! If they want to grow stronger and survive, then they can take care of themselves!"

"But they need our help in order to survive," Quatre countered.

"_Hmph…just watch me. I can survive on my own,_" Heero objected. He sat up straight and attempted to stand. His legs felt like jell-o. But just to be sure, Duo poked his legs.

"_Your legs are too plushy. You'll never be able to walk, let alone stand. Let's face it, Heero. You're not the Perfect Soldier anymore,_" Duo pointed out.

"_I'm not going to submit to this new body,_" Heero growled and tried to stand. He wobbled to and fro and stuck out his arms for balance.

"_You look like a surfer!_" Duo joked. Heero ignored his comment, even though he still wasn't straight up and was having an extremely difficult time. Quatre noticed what Heero was trying to do, so he rushed over and supported him. But stubborn little Heero did NOT want any help. He smacked his hands away with a "SLAP", but lost his balance and fell on his face on the hard, wooden table with a "SMACK". Everyone in the room felt Heero's pain and winced. Quatre immediately picked him up and set him back down next to Duo. This time, Heero let Quatre assist him. 

"_I told ya so… Hey! You have a dent in you forehead!! Ha ha! You look just like me when I had my dent!_" Duo remarked. That comment was anything but flattering to Heero. 

"See! Babies are weak!" Wufei restated. 

"That's why we have to take care of them; just like Quatre said," Trowa corrected Wufei.

"Well, count me out!" Wufei held his fist up.

"But you gotta help us, Wufei! I don't know anything about taking care of babies!" Quatre complained.

"What makes you think I know?" Wufei made an obvious point.

"Do you know anything about babies?" Quatre sighed and turn to Trowa for a helping hand.

"No, but I know some people who do," he responded.

"Really? Who?" Quatre's hopes were lifted.

"Relena and Hilde." Trowa answered. Quatre's hopes fell hard while Duo and Heero's eyes grew large.

"_NNOOOOO!!!!!!!_" Both Duo and Heero screamed.

"Women are weak!" Wufei always hated it when the girls would visit. If the girls came over, then he would be surrounded by both women and babies: a double whammy!

"Even if that's the case, women have a natural instinct for taking care of babies. It's the easiest way," Trowa counteracted. Wufei sat down and sulked, while Quatre called the girls on the telephone. When he mentioned the word "babies" the girls immediately rushed over and in no less than five and a half minutes they arrived at the Winner Mansion. Without even knocking the girls burst through the big double doors and located the boys. Now, the nightmare begins…

"Omigosh!!! They are soo cute!!" Relena and Hilde shouted at once, each picking up a baby, and squeezing them until their eyes popped out. The three pilots sweat dropped.

"So, what are you boys doing with these infants? And where's Heero?" Relena asked, still squeezing (coincidentally) Heero.

"Yeah. And where's Duo? I thought they were with you guys," Hilde added.

"Well, they are still here," Quatre replied.

"Really? So, where are they? Are they out fighting again?" Relena questioned as Heero was trying to push away from her. Meanwhile, Hilde was preoccupied with why this blanket-wrapped infant she was holding had such a long braid.

"You're holding them," Trowa bluntly stated. Relena was confused, but Hilde finally put two and two together.

"Omigosh!! He's right!" Hilde gasped. She pulled away from Duo and held him with her arms stretched out to get a better look. Duo was trying to catch his breath from being nearly squeezed to death and smiled weakly at Hilde with a cocked head. Hilde had to laugh. This was too good to be true. "Aww… Duo, you're so cute!" ^.^ *poke, poke, pinch, pinch*

"………..H-H-Heero?" Relena couldn't think of anything to say. Heero slowly nodded. She shyly giggled along with Hilde's laughter. "Were these the babies you were talking about, Quatre?"

"Yep," he answered. "Oh by the way, they're not wearing any clothes except for those blankets. Do you girls have anything that will fit them?"

"You guys are naked?" Hilde was cracking up. Duo and Heero blushed as they buried their heads in their blankets. 

"_Give us a break, will ya?!_" Duo defended ineffectively when he popped out of his blanket. 

"Aww… that was the cutest! What's the matter, Duo? Can't you talk?" Hilde was overjoyed to hear little Baby Duo babble. Duo shook his head and looked away. "Alright then. Do you want us to get you some clothes, Duo?" Duo turned his head to face her. He feebly smiled and nodded lively, slightly red. 

"We'll watch Heero and Duo while you're away," Quatre added. 

"Thanks, Quatre." Hilde pinched Duo's cheeks ((I'm talking about his facial cheeks, people!)) one last time, then handed him over to Quatre. Relena surrendered Heero over to Trowa with extreme care as if he was a fragile, priceless jewel and slowly accompanied Hilde towards the exit. 

"Finally! It took them forever to leave," Wufei snapped as soon as they left the room.

"_I'm hungry,_" Duo babbled and squirmed slightly.

"So… what do we do now?" Quatre asked after several minutes of Duo squirming more. 

"_I'm hungry!_" Duo babbled louder and squirmed even more, giving Quatre a difficult time.

"_If you keep squirming like that, then he'll drop you,_" Heero directed.

"_But I'm hungry! And I can't get comfy!_" Duo complained.

"_If you keep yelling like that, then Wufei will shut you up,_" Heero pointed to Wufei who was bearing his teeth at Duo. Duo got the hint and simmered down, although it was really hard not to squirm every once in a while. Quatre and Trowa just stood there, holding their downsized comrades, not moving a muscle.

****Silence****

Finally, after 30 minutes of silence and Duo's squirming, the girls came back, bearing goodies. Three bags full of it, and by the looks of it the bags appeared to be heavy. They let the bags fall onto the table, right in front of Wufei's face.

"What's all this?" he questioned irritably. 

"We went shopping," Hilde responded with a wink.

"But you weren't supposed to buy stuff for you girls!" Wufei argued.

"We didn't go shopping for ourselves, Wufei. We went shopping for Heero and Duo," Relena objected.

"_Is that stuff all for us?!_" Duo drooled. "_I hope there's food in those bags!_" His arms were stretched out towards the shopping sacks. Quatre sensed his obvious eagerness and set him down in front of shopping bags, while Trowa did the same with Heero, who was not so eager. 

"You bought them three bags full of stuff just for them?" Wufei seemed puzzled. 

            Duo attempted to stand, but suddenly remember Heero's experience with trying to walk, so Duo resorted to crawling. He slowly inched his way closer to the bags with a big smile on his face, trying to sniff out any and all possible types of food. Heero sat in the same spot patiently…

"Well, sure! Clothing isn't the only thing babies require, Wufei," Hilde retorted. 

            Duo reached for bags, but it wasn't easy. He cautiously lifted his arms off the supporting table beneath him, however fell flat on his face. Darn! Another dent! Well, at least Duo and Heero are matching twins now. Heero managed to snicker and shake his head at Duo's defeat.

"What else could babies possibly need?" Wufei arrogantly asked. 

            Duo pouted at his minor set back, but tried again. This time he got on his knees, wobbling back and forth, nearly falling on his back, and reached out to "hug" the bag in front of him. But his arms were to short to hug and instead, Duo fell onto the bag causing it to fall on the other bags, resulting in all the items to spew out onto the table. Duo and Heero's eyes widened with terror when they saw the containments of the bags… 

"We got baby clothes, baby food, baby formulas, bottles, pacifiers, diapers, baby blankets, …" Hilde continued to list all of the objects while smiling at Duo's behavior. Speaking of whom, Duo picked up a container of baby food as his eyes began to swell with uncontrollable tears.

"_Mashed Peas?!_" He was going into a mental breakdown when he read the label.

"_It's not that bad, Duo,_" Heero intervened. "_You don't have teeth anyways, so mashed peas will—are you crying?_" 

"_No, I'm not crying!_" Duo held back his tears. But he couldn't help it! It was almost like a desire to cry. 

            Not noticing Duo's tears, the girls unpacked the baby clothes with glee. Relena opened one particular package and revealed Heero's outfit to everyone. Heero nearly exploded…

"_PINK TEDDY BEARS?!!_" He shouted. Suddenly, he felt the urge to cry. This immediately cheered Duo up as he laughed and pointed. Duo had switched from crying uncontrollably to laughing uncontrollably. Well, that was until Hilde showed off Duo's outfit.                 

"_PURPLE LAMBS?!!_" He shrieked. Duo was on the verge of crying again. Heero would've laughed, but he was hypnotized by the frolicking, pink teddy bears on his soon-to-be garment. Heero couldn't contain himself no longer; he broke down and cried. Duo was definitely in no mood for mocking. His trembled at the galloping, purple lambs and he instantly wept when he noticed the lavender, lacey frills outlining of his future attire. The teenage gundam pilots also cried. But these were not tears of sadness, but tears of laughter, mocking, teasing, taunting, and this-is-too-good-to-be-true tears. Even Trowa laughed at the hideous looking outfits. 

At that moment, Wufei changed his mind about having the girls over: This is gonna be good…

A/N: Whew! That was fun! I hope u liked it! Be sure to review and let me know ur thoughts, ok? ^^


	3. The Torture Begins

A/N: Here's chapter 3! I'm really sorry that it took so long to update! U can blame my high school. Anyways, you know the routine, read it, and review! ….Yay!! ^.^ I hope ya enjoy it!

~~~The Torture Begins~~~

            Duo and Heero wiped away their tears as much as they could and were forced to embrace to truth: they had to wear those hideous baby GIRLY outfits. The girls wouldn't have it any other way and the boys would give anything to see the Perfect Soldier and the God of Death in pink and purple baby clothes. The laughing slowly ceased and the tears gradually dried.

"Are you ready to be transformed, little ones?" Hilde asked the infants with a wide smile and a wink. Duo violently shook his head and Heero gave Hilde the death glare. Ignoring the glare, she handed a package of diapers over to Quatre.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Hilde questioned Quatre, who had a confused look on his face.

"What do you mean?" he inquired. Relena slightly blushed.

"We can't change them," she finally said.

"Why not? Isn't this a woman's job?" Wufei mocked.

"So, you want us to clothe the naked Heero and Duo?" Hilde intervened. Duo and Heero get the picture and practically beg the boys to change them. Duo folded his hands in pleading mode to the guys and Heero waved his arms about in protest and anger towards the girls. To sum it all up: There was a lot of loud noise coming from the toddlers going in both directions, causing their screams and rants to echo through the rooms and hallways.

"_Cant' you guys show a little sympathy??_" Duo beseeched the guys.

"_Why are you always trying to humiliate me!!_" Heero yelled at the girls.

            Finally, Wufei couldn't take it any longer. He let out a loud shriek, pushed the girls out of the room, slammed the door shut behind him, forcefully laid the toddlers on their backs, grabbed the diapers, threw the diapers at Trowa and Quatre's face, and stormed back to his seat. ((Whew!)) "There! Now it's your problem!" he concluded with a thunderous yell. The boys were shocked by his earsplitting reaction, Heero and Duo laid there stunned, and the girls stood outside the room with confused expressions on their faces. 

"Uh…well, should we get started, Trowa?" Quatre cleared his throat.

"What other choice do we have?" he sighed. The boys plodded over to the infants and readied the diapers. Trowa hesitantly situated himself in front of Duo and Quatre skittishly took position in front of Heero.   

"…What do we do first?" Quatre had no idea what he was doing.  

"I guess we remove the blankets," Trowa responded. But do you honestly think Trowa knows what he's doing?? I'll let you decide…

            The blankets were removed and placed comfortably underneath the tots. Duo felt extremely uncomfortable. First of all, he didn't like the fact that he was naked and secondly, he didn't like being place on his back like this. To fix these problems, he just simply rolled over and lay on top of the blanket on his belly. He didn't mind too much of his rear end being exposed and he didn't mind lying on his stomach. Problem solved and everyone is happy!! Yeah, right! DUH!! Of course not! Trowa didn't like being mooned, especially by Duo…

            Heero wasn't any easier. Quatre's worried and panicked look of "I have no idea what I'm doing" was not pleasing at all. So, he turned over on his right side. Much better! Right? Wrong! Heero was definitely NOT expecting Duo's bare bottom to be facing up. It was quite shocking and disturbing. He let out a high-pitched yelp and quickly with intense speediness rolled over on his left side. Good! Now, all Heero had to do was stare at the wall. Perfect! Or was it? Quatre's hopes of successfully applying the diaper just went from bad to worse…    

            Duo lay contentedly on his stomach, and slowly let his eye close and go into sleep mode. Trowa's eye twitched. Not only was he being mooned, but he was also being completely discarded and ignored. He grabbed the blanket from underneath him and snapped it away like the tablecloth trick sending Duo twisting and rolling in mid-air and landing hard on his back. Duo rubbed his head to try to soothe the pain, but that wouldn't stop the throbbing soreness or the dizzy spells. He finally focused his attention to Trowa who had his arms crossed. Duo greeted him with an awkward chuckle and continued to lie uncomfortably on his back while Trowa tried to figure out which side of the diaper was the front. But, Duo was getting too uncomfortable and he continually tried to lie back on his stomach as Trowa continually snapped the blanket while Duo continually spun in the air…

            Heero's ears perked up when he heard all loud THUD's coming from Duo, but decided to keep his back turned to him. He had at least hoped that whatever happened to Duo was painful. Quatre winced when he saw Duo's unintentional stunts. He refocused his attention to his real obstacle and carefully thought for a solution. First he tried being polite and asking him.

"Uh, Heero? Could you turn over and lie on your back so I can put this diaper on you, please?" Quatre weakly smiled after asking. Heero turned his head and stared at Quatre, puzzling over his unexpected question. He considered obeying his plea, but then he thought: "_Me? Wear a diaper?? No way…_" Heero turned his head away and resumed starring at the wall trying to envision Duo's pain. Quatre sighed at his defeat and pondered again, aiming for another solution. He watched Trowa performing his trick tablecloth routine and then looked at Heero's blanket. Quatre grabbed the tip of Heero's blanket and slightly tugged at it. Heero rapidly turned his head and stared at Quatre with his narrowed eyes and a "Don't even think about it" expression. Another defeat. Back to square one, Quatre began to think again…

            Finally, Wufei couldn't take it any longer. He let out an earsplitting roar, pushed Trowa and Quatre out of the way, forcibly turned the toddlers on their backs, swiftly wrapped them up in their diapers one after the other, and stomped back to his seat. 

"Must I do everything for you weaklings?!!" he hollered. "You can't even handle a woman's job!"

"Well, are you proud to say that you just preformed a woman's task with womanly ease?" Trowa shot back. Wufei's pride fell hard as his left eye twitched. He growled and began to sulk and pout with his arms crossed. 

            While Wufei and Trowa shot insults at each other, Duo and Heero laid there stunned for a while, not comprehending what just happened. Duo struggled to sit up, but his plushy, weak body disobeyed him. He kicked his feet and waved his arms, but alas… it wasn't working. Heero sighed heavily at Duo's pathetic attempt to get up. That is…until he tried to get up. It sure wasn't easy, but Heero was determined and was not going to let this new body slow him down. He grabbed hold of his blanket and lassoed it to the nearby chair. A light bulb hovered over Duo's head when he saw Heero's efforts to sit up. He was going to prove that he was more "creative" than Heero; actually, since Wufei discarded Duo's blanket off the table in order to prevent further twirling, Duo was forced to find an alternative solution. And with that, Duo lassoed his braid onto the same nearby chair. Heero tilted his head and stared at Duo, who responded with a goofy grin and perky wink. Together they lifted themselves up off of the table and grabbed hold of the chair with a death grip to keep their balance. Duo's legs quivered and Heero's legs trembled. They, once again, stared at each other. "_Uh… now what??_" Duo finally said. Heero had no idea what to do. He never thought that he would actually get this far and even if he did, Duo was right: what next? Heero's eyes lightened as he got another idea. This would leave Duo behind. Perfect! Heero grabbed his faithful blanket and held onto it tightly. He looked down to the floor. It wasn't that far of a jump, but for a one-year-old baby it may look rather threatening. So, Suicidal Heero took a dive and used his blanket as a parachute. He landed lightly on his butt, but he was ok. Success! Duo ogled at the distance between the floor and to the table. Only Heero would do something that daring. But Duo wasn't about to give up just yet! He held onto the chair a bit longer and pondered over a plan. Presto! Another light bulb! But this light bulb had to be a 3-watt. Or perhaps you'd prefer: "a wet match in a dark cave". So, Duo unleashed his "well-thought-out" plan into action… he jumped. Just bluntly jumped. Duo landed hard on his butt with a THUD, but was uh… sort of ok. At least he was alive, but his rear end didn't feel good. Only Duo would do something that—how should I put this—stupid! Heero shook his head in disbelief and pity, and sighed heavily. "_Baka…_"

            Quatre rushed over to the other side of the table when he heard the loud noise only to discover two babies on the floor, one sitting arms crossed and the other rubbing his bottom. He scooped them up and placed them back on the table.

"_NNOOOO!!!_" they protested. All that work and effort and butt rubbing was for nothing. At that moment, the girls burst through the doors.

"What's all that noise? Is everything ok?" Relena asked worriedly. 

"Everything's fine," Quatre reassured, not noticing Duo's pain.

"Wow! I'm impressed! The diapers are on them perfectly!" Hilde praised. 

"Wufei did it," Trowa added while pointing to Wufei and receiving a death glare from him.

"Really?" the girls were shocked and astonished. "You must have a natural mother's instinct!" Hilde beamed.

"I do not!!" Several veins popped out of his forehead. Suddenly, out of the blue, THUD! Everyone looked down and saw Heero and Duo back on the floor. 

The girls hurried over and hoisted the baby boys into their warm, soft arms. This comforted them very much. It must've been to their baby liking. Either way, it was just what they needed. Ah… silence. Duo and Heero let their eyes droop and drift into daydreaming and out of reality. Suddenly, the warmth left and the miniature gundam pilots felt a hard surface underneath them. They opened their tired and frustrated eyes only to discover that they were back on the table (again!). This nightmare was far from over. Relena and Hilde stood over them, starring with wide smiles, and held up the baby clothes right in front of their faces. 

"_AHHH!!! NNOOO!!_" Duo screamed, and Heero flinched and twitched. The girls went in for the kill, but the infants kicked and struggled. That is… until Trowa, Wufei, and Quatre assisted the lovely ladies. Quatre held onto Duo's hands and feet while Heero (who was being more of a hassle) was overpowered by Trowa and Wufei. In no time at all, the pocket-sized pilots were all dressed. The teenage boys were busting their guts while the girls were overwhelmed with "aww's" and giddy laughter. Duo and Heero looked at each other.

"_You look like a pansy!!_" Duo was laughing uncontrollably at Heero's new getup. "_And pink really matches your skin tone!_" he mocked and teased.

"_Look who's talking?! Those purple frills really bring out your complexion!!_" Heero shot back.

"_Well, at least I'm not wearing pink TEDDY BEARS!!!_"

"_Well, at least I'm not presenting lavender BABY LAMBS!!!_"

"_So?! MY lambs are cooler than YOUR teddy bears!_"

"_No, there're NOT!_ _MY teddy bears are—_" Heero paused in mid-sentence. "_You can keep your lambs and you can take my teddy bears,_" he concluded calmly, sticking up his nose.

"_But, I …you can't…I didn't mean…_" Duo stammered realizing how stupid he was. 

The argument was settled, victory was claimed, and the truth was reluctantly grasped. In other words: the squabble was solved, Heero defeated Duo, and they both looked like sissy girls. Relena picked up Heero once again and hugged him. 

"You look so cute, Heero!" she affirmed. Heero was in no mood for hugs, nor was he in the mood for Duo's grinning and smirking. He tried to push away, but Heero wasn't as strong as he use to be. Duo laughed at his attempts to get away. The laughing stopped, however, when Hilde came out of nowhere, snatched Duo up, and squeezed him beyond the point of reason. Heero became content again once he saw Duo's eyes popping out. 


	4. Feeding Time

A/N: Yay! I'm on chappie number 4!! Woo-hoo! I hope ya guys like it! ^^ Sorry again for taking so long.

~~~Feeding Time~~~

            Relena and Hilde finally released the infants and sat down at the dining room table along with Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei. Heero was positioned on top of Relena's lap; his arms were crossed and his eyes narrowed in a threatening manner. Duo was neatly assembled on Hilde's lap, frowning. He was soooo hungry. It felt like he hadn't eaten for days. 

Relena blabbered on and on about how cute Heero is, while Hilde nodded in agreement and the teenage pilots chuckled at Heero's expressions. Duo's stomach growled loudly. Relena stopped jabbering.

"What was that?" She looked around the room. Hilde lifted Duo at her eye level and examined him. Duo's mouth drooped and his eyes were half closed. His arms and legs dangled motionless, while he rested in Hilde's grasp.

"Are you hungry, Little Duo?" she finally asked with a smile on her face. Duo's eyes lit up as he nodded his head vigorously. 

"_Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!_" he cheered and chanted.

"How about you, Little Heero? Are you hungry, too?" Relena questioned Heero. He turned his head away from her, trying to refuse any and all attention. 

Relena giggled and grabbed the baby bag across from them and took out two bottles. She handed a bottle to Hilde, and they popped off the caps. Actually, Duo was helping too. He was the one that seized the bottle from Hilde and tried to open it. Unfortunately, his baby hands couldn't even make the cap budge. The milk inside crashed along the sides as Duo shook the bottle rapidly. Since the shaking didn't work, he resorted to using his teeth. But, that had no effect what so ever considering the fact that Baby Duo was tooth-less. Hilde laughed at his attempts and carefully assisted him. 

Heero, on the other hand, didn't want to drink from a stupid, scrawny baby bottle. After Relena had opened the bottle, she held up in front of his mouth and waited patiently for him to start sipping. It's a good thing that Relena has a lot of patience… she'll need it.

Duo started slurping the milk even before Hilde was ready to serve him. The milk was sweet to his taste buds as he happily sucked the bottle. Heero stared at him with disgust. 

"_How can you drink that repulsive bottle?_" he grumbled.

"_I guess I may look funny, but this milk tastes great!! You gotta try some, Heero!_" Duo prompted as paused from his drinking to take a breath. "_It's not the same as regular milk. This milk is even better than that normal stuff._" Duo smiled widely and continued slurping. Heero ignored Duo's invitation and looked away.

"Wow, Duo looks like he's really enjoying that bottle. What's in it?" Quatre brought forth out of curiosity.

"It's a special kind of milk," Relena answered as she tried to coax Heero into drinking it. She received his usual answer: the back of his head.

 "What's so special about it?" Wufei mocked.

"Well, it didn't come from a cow or a baby formula," Hilde replied with a wink. Duo stopped sipping and stared at her. His cheeks fully expanded, filled completely with milk.

"So, then what is it?" Trowa inquired, knowing it was his turn to speak.

Hilde and Relena nodded and shouted in unison: "BREAST MILK!!!" Duo's eyes grew unreasonably large and his face turned green as he immediately spat out the boob milk. Fortunately, the milk missed Hilde, but unfortunately, the milk splattered all over Heero. He sat there, stunned and unsure of what type of emotion to express. A sudden rush of tears overwhelmed him as he uncontrollably let it all go and cried at the top of his lungs. Duo didn't even notice Heero's tears; he was too busy speedily wiping his flavored tongue. Relena picked up the crying Heero and rushed to the bathroom to clean him up. Throughout this entire ordeal, Wufei, Quatre, and even Trowa were laughing so hard that tears formed in their eyes too.

Five minutes later, Relena returned with the prune-faced Heero. Duo was neatly assembled on Hilde's lap again. His eyes were half closed and his mouth drooped. Not only was Duo grossed out, but also he was still hungry. Relena sat next to Hilde with Heero positioned on her lap again. Duo's growling stomach broke the silence.

"Are you still hungry, Duo?" Hilde questioned him. Duo was a little bit hesitant in responding. Who knows what food the girls have up their sleeves! But, Duo had to take that risk. He slowly nodded in hopes that they had some real food. Relena grabbed the baby bag and pulled out a container. Duo's eyes filled up with tears of misery as soon as he saw what she pulled out. It was a container of mashed peas. 

"I think it's time to give them some real food," Quatre began, reading Duo's mind. "They may look like babies, but their not."

"I guess you're right, Quat," Hilde surrendered.

"Did you just call me 'Quat'?" he tilted his head.

"But what types of food do you have?" Relena addressed.

"Uh… I'm not sure," 'Quat' admitted.

"Well, then let's investigate," Hilde directed. Relena and Hilde plopped the infants on Trowa and Wufei's lap—without their consent—and followed Quatre into the kitchen.

Trowa stared at the unhappy Heero who sat cross-armed on Trowa's knees. Wufei watched the hungry Duo who was on the verge of falling off his lap. Eventually, Duo lost his balance and tumbled onto the floor. Duo and Wufei both had blank expressions.

"Aren't you going to help him up?" Trowa beseeched.

"Why should I?" Wufei jeered.

"I see your point." Trowa set Heero down on the floor next to Duo whose face was neatly buried in the carpet. 

"_What are you doing?_" Heero finally inquired.

"_I'm hungry,_" Duo groaned.

"_You're not eating the carpet, are you?_"

"_No… I think I'm thinking._"

"_You think?_"

"_Yeah, I think so._"

Heero sighed deeply. "_Baka…All right, then. Let's go._"

"_Go where?_" Duo lifted up his carpet-designed face.

"_To the kitchen. We'll find our own food; without the girls' help._"

"_Really?! Great! Let's roll!_" Duo got a head start and began to crawl as fast as his stubby legs and arms could go. Heero followed Duo at his own steady pace. 

"Should we go after them?" Trowa pressed as he watched them inch away.

"Why should we?" Wufei retorted.

"I see your point."

Duo waited impatiently against the wall on the outside of the kitchen for Heero to catch up to him.

"_Do you have a plan to get past the girls and Quatre?_" Duo whispered when Heero arrived.

Heero described his fully detailed and well thought-out operation of action: "_We'll wait for them to leave the kitchen and then sneak in._"

"_That's it?_" Duo nagged receiving a nod from Heero. "_I could've thought of that._" And so, they waited and listened. They couldn't clearly identify what they were saying in the kitchen; Quatre had a large kitchen that stretched a good distance. After five and a half minutes of waiting and Duo repetitively asking: "Are they gone yet?" Quatre exited the kitchen while the girls trailed behind him, carrying one bag each of food for the toddlers. 

Heero gave the signal to move in. Duo dramatically somersaulted into the kitchen and posed like one of Charlie's Angles. Heero casually crawled after him. Duo headed for the counter nearest to him on the left. Heero purposely chose not to follow Duo and crawled to a different counter at the opposite end.

"_Hey! I think I smell something sweet, Heero! Come over here and help, will ya?_" Duo yelled from across the kitchen.

"_Get it yourself,_" he snapped.

"_Hmph, fine! I'll do it myself, _" Duo stuck out his tongue. He gazed up at the "25ft" counter top. "_Arg_…" 

Heero had already formulated a plan. He pulled out the drawers leading up to the counter top and climbed on top of them, using them like stairs. Heero successfully crawled to the top and scanned his surroundings. An antique cookie jar was behind him, and a collection of various teapots surrounded it. Heero's stomach growled as the smell of cookies reached his nose. He crept his way towards the cookie jar and slowly opened it. Jackpot!! The jar was piled high with assorted cookies: chocolate chip, oatmeal, raisin, you name it. Heero hastily grabbed as many cookies he could carry. But his arms were too tiny to carry enough cookies to satisfy his hunger, so he stuffed all the cookies in his diaper ((Why not? *shrugs* Doesn't Heero store his gun in his spandex anyway? ^-^;;)). "_Mission: complete._" …… CRASH!!! SPLATTER!!! Heero looked up from the jar of cookies and searched for the source of the noise. A sweat-drop ran down his head when he realized the cause of the clamor.

Duo lay on the floor with a white paper bag on his head. He was completely covered and saturated in a white sparkly, flaky substance. Duo slowly sat up as the tiny flakes rolled off his body and scattered all over the floor. 

"_What happened?_" Heero exhaled deeply. "_And where's your lamb outfit?_"

"_Well, uh,_" Duo began with a chuckle, "_I saw a bag of sugar on the countertop, but_ _I couldn't figure out how to get up there, so I took off my clothes, formed a noose, and used it to pull it down. The bag of sugar fell on me and exploded on impact, and well, here I am._" As Duo was telling his story—still in his diaper—he grabbed handfuls of sugar and stuffed it in his mouth, savoring the sweetness as it glided down his throat. 

"_Baka…_" Heero replied. 

"_So, what about you? Did you get some food?_" Duo emphasized with the hopes of more food.

"_I got some cookies,_" he declared.

"_All right!! Good goin', Heero! Sugar and cookies; I love it!_" Duo paraded on his hands and knees on top of the pile of sugar. "_So, where are the cookies?_" he nagged as he held out his hands.

"……" 

******

            The girls and Quatre returned to the dining room and dumped the bags of food on the table in front of Trowa and Wufei.

            "Isn't this a little too much food?" Trowa implied with an arched eyebrow.

            "That's what I was thinking," Wufei added.

            "That's what I told them," Quatre sighed.

            "Where are the boys?" Relena asked, ignoring the comments.

            "They're somewhere in this house," Wufei stated calmly.

            "You mean you don't know where they are?!" Hilde grabbed Wufei by his shirt collar and shook him until Wufei had dizzy-spirals for eyes. 

            "Calm down, Hilde," Trowa came to the rescue. "If they're lost, then they can take care of themselves."

            "How can we calm down?!!" Relena rushed in, grabbing Trowa's shirt. "They're only babies and you lost them!"

            "Uh… girls?" Quatre entered with a small voice. "I think they're in the kitchen."

            "What?" the girls said in harmony.

******

            "_YOU PUT THEM WHERE??!!_" Duo shouted. "_Do you realize how DISGUSTING that is?!!!_" Duo nearly gagged on the sugar when Heero told Duo where he stored the cookies.

******

            "Was that Duo screaming?" Relena noted.

            "It came from the kitchen," Quatre reminded. 

The gang herded to the kitchen to investigate with Hilde and Relena leading the way. They stopped at the threshold of the kitchen and stared at the two sprouts on the kitchen floor. Duo was still surrounded and drenched in sugar, still upset about the cookie ordeal. Heero sat a short distance away—separate from the sugar pile—with a blank expression.

            "Duo Maxwell!!" Hilde firmly addressed. Duo lifted his head when he heard his name, but soon wished he hadn't. "What are you covered in?" Hilde bend down next to Duo inspected the crystal flakes. "Duo, what are you doing in a pile of sugar in Quatre's kitchen?" she glared. Duo responded with a chuckle and a shrug. Hilde slowly picked him up and gently shook him, letting the sugar gems drift to the ground. "Oh, great… now we'll have to give you a bath," Hilde concluded with a sigh.

            "_A bath?!!_" Duo's eyes grew large. "_No way! I don't need a bath!_" he crossed his arms. 

            Heero was enjoying Duo's circumstances and smirked at him. His smirk faded away, however, as Relena came up from behind him and lifted him up. Heero would have struggled, but the cookies in his diaper made that difficult.

            "You better take a bath with Duo, Heero. You're still sticky from the breast milk incident," Relena instructed. 

            "_What?!_" Heero's eyes grew larger than Duo's. "_I'm not taking a bath with that baka!_" he protested as his eyes narrowed.

            Ignoring the Duo and Heero's rants, the girls plopped them into the arms of Wufei and Trowa.

            "I'm sure you boys can handle giving these two a bath, right?" Hilde verified with a smile.

            "Any baka can give an infant a bath," Wufei scoffed on a level of assurance. 

            "That's good to hear, but remember: this is Heero and Duo you're dealing with," Relena noted.   

            "Yeah, we know," he confirmed. "I'll be sure to chain the doors shut and bullet-proof the bathroom windows."

            "Good. By the time you're done giving them a bath, we should be done cleaning up this mess," Hilde emphasized the word "mess" and eyed Duo.

            The pilots walked away with the complaining babies and trudged upstairs and into the bathroom.  

A/N: That's the end of chapter 4! If you have any ideas or suggestions for more chapters, then let me know! Tee hee ^^ this is so much fun! Please review and in return, I'll try to update soon. grr… hw …grr  

      


	5. Bath Time

A/N: I'm back! Here's chapter number 5! ^-^ yay…

~~~Bath Time~~~

            Quatre opened the bathroom door and patiently waited for Trowa and Wufei. Duo was struggling in Wufei's arms while Heero was ranting and shaking his head in Trowa's arms. Despite Heero's aggressive complaints, Trowa successfully crossed the bathroom's threshold and placed the tot in the sink. Wufei on the other hand couldn't get past the door. Duo had gripped the edge of the doorway, and would not let go. Wufei was not in the mood for this. So, instead of starting with a tug-o-war with Duo, Wufei just simply dropped him. Duo's skin squeaked along the doorway's side as he plummeted down to the ground. Taking advantage of Duo's pain, Wufei scooped him up and carried him inside the bathroom. Meanwhile, Quatre shut the door and locked it—just in case.

            Tears were streaming down Duo's cheeks. His entire body turned a shade red from skidding down the door paneling. Wufei ignored his stinging pain and dumped his on the countertop next to Heero.

            Ah, yes. Speaking of whom, Heero was getting very uneasy and on edge. First of all, he felt kind of awkward sitting in a sink; it just wasn't natural. Secondly, the idea of taking a bath with Bakagami (("the god of idiots"… kinda catchy, ain't it? ^.~)); that was just extremely unnatural. And worst of all, the chocolate chip cookies in his diaper were melting and its texture felt tremendously… uncomfortable. The words: "gooey", "sticky", and "mushy" were an understatement. 

            Quatre leaned over the bathtub and twisted the faucets in order to get the precise and desired temperature. He made sure that the water lever did not exceed Hilde's recommended height of five to six inches. Although, Wufei suggested that they should submerge the infants in a four-foot icy, cold tank, but his proposal was denied. 

            "Ok, the bathtub's all set," Quatre acknowledged. "Are Heero and Duo ready to get wet?" Quatre received no answer. "C'mon, guys! The faster we work, the quicker we'll be done."

            "Fine…" Wufei admitted. "But I'm not touching Maxwell! That pest has caused enough trouble." Wufei plodded over to Heero and stood in front of him and Quatre took position in front of Duo while Trowa stood next to him, just in case Duo tried to squirm away again.

            Wufei was perplexed as to why Heero sat there in the sink doing nothing. Heero wasn't moving a muscle, but instead he had an ill at ease look on his face. Nevertheless, Wufei scooped him up and set Heero on his back. He unbuttoned his one piece, pajamas. It was a little difficult getting it off since Heero kept his legs stiff, but eventually Heero was freed from those blasted pink teddy bears. Wufei reluctantly undid Heero's diaper and his eyes grew to the size of ping-pong balls the moment he noticed what was inside…

"WHAT IS THAT?!!" Wufei shrieked as a literally jumped back.

"What! What's wrong?" Quatre exclaimed as he and Trowa looked up from the squirming Duo. 

"I think it's crap!!" Wufei pointed to Heero. 

Duo burst out with insane laughter, but Quatre and Trowa were at a complete loss. That is… until they examined Heero more closely. Quatre immediately jumped back next to Wufei when he noticed the sickening pile of assorted colorations of chunks and mush contained in Heero's diaper. Trowa bravely stepped forward towards Heero. 

"I don't think it's crap," Trowa interjected. "It smells kind of… sweet." 

"You're disgusting, Barton!" Wufei announced.

"I'm serious."

"It looks like melted, mashed up cookies," Quatre also observed.

"But why would Yuy put cookies in his pants?" Wufei questioned.

"He was probably planning on eating them later," Trowa guessed.

"Well, it's too late now," Quatre pointed out as he dragged a garbage bin and positioned it near Heero. 

Duo was cracking up in the background throughout the entire investigation, while Heero was emotionless; he just wished that he was anywhere but there. 

Wufei unwillingly took on the task of removing Heero's cookie diaper while Trowa and Quatre resumed undressing Duo. It took a lot of teamwork between Quatre and Trowa; Duo's fidgeting and struggling resulted in having his arms and legs tangled in his pajamas. Finally, the two teams finished undressing the mini pilots. Phase 1: complete. Heero actually want a bath, due to the messy cookies in his diaper, but the fact that Quatre, Wufei, and Trowa had to help wash him was unthinkable. 

Heero was placed in the tub first and for a moment, he let the hot water relax him and take away all his concerns. That quickly ended when Duo was literally dumped into the tub by Wufei. He landed with a SPLASH sending a tiny tidal wave to come crashing into Heero's face. Phase 2: complete.

"So, now what?" Quatre addressed. 

"You two wash them," Wufei answered.

"What do you mean by us two? Aren't you going to help?" Quatre protested.

"I'll only get in the way. There's only two of them, so what's the point in me helping?" Wufei argued.

"One of them, or both of them might, and probably will give us a difficult time. I think it's wise that you would assist us," Trowa objected.

"Assist you? I thought you guys weren't weaklings," he taunted. "I'm sure you can handle two insignificant infants without me." 

"C'mon, guys. We shouldn't argue," Quatre pleaded.

"There's nothing more to argue! I refuse to wash Yuy and Maxwell!" Wufei shot back.

"WHAAH!" The three boys turned their head and discovered Heero with his arms hanging over the edge of the tub and a stern look on his face. "WHAAH!" he repeated.  

"I think Heero's trying to say something," Trowa noted.

"Do you want something, Heero?" Quatre asked bending down to his eye level. Heero babbled nothing more, but instead pointed to the door.

"I don't quite understand," Quatre confessed.

"Do you want us to open the door?" Trowa suggested. Heero shook his head while water from his hair flew into Duo's face. Ignoring the water droplets on his face, Duo leaned over the side of the tub and first pointed to them and then to the door.    

"Do you want us to leave?" Wufei presumed. Heero nodded his head and Duo gave him the thumbs up. "Good! Let's go."

"But, wait! We can't just leave them here by themselves," Quatre stressed.

"Why not?" Wufei debated. 

"Well, I mean… can we trust them? What if they try to escape or something?" he issued.

"Wufei's right. If I was in their position, then I would want to be left alone too," Trowa stated. "We'll just guard the door and come back in when they're done."

"Ok, I guess you guys are right." Quatre turned back to the Duo and Heero. "We'll be right outside if you two need us, alright?" The wet toddlers nodded as the teen pilots exited and closed the door behind them.

"_Get out, Duo,_" Heero said as soon as the door shut.

"_But, why?_" 

"_I don't want you in the same bathtub as me,_" Heero answered sternly.

"_But I need to wash myself too, ya know! I got sugar in my hair, remember? Just ignore me! I won't bug you,_" Duo insisted. 

"…_Fine, but stay on your side of the tub,_" Heero compromised. 

"_You won't have to worry about that,_" Duo confirmed. "_Hey, Heero. Pass me the shampoo, will ya?_" 

Heero grabbed the shampoo bottle behind him and threw it at Duo, clunking him in the head.

"_Hey!_" Duo grabbed the bar of soap behind him and chucked it at Heero, but Heero caught the bar with ease.

"_Thanks._" Heero simply said with a smirk and made use of the bar of soap. Unknown to him, however, a bottle of conditioner was heading straight toward him. He looked up just in time and quickly ducked, dodging the evil conditioner.

"_Hey!_" yelled Heero.

"_Oops… sorry! It slipped from my hands,_" Duo sarcastically apologized with a grin. 

Before Heero got a chance to strangle Duo, he felt a stream of water along his back. Apparently, the bottle of conditioner hit the faucet and turned it on to full blast. He turned around and gripped the faucet as the stream of water poured on his face. Unfortunately, the handle would not budge an inch. 

"_Turn it off!_" Duo pestered. 

"_I can't! My hands are too slippery_"

"_Lemme try!_" Duo crawled under the surge of water and tried to turn the faucet handle to the off position. No such luck, but at least the gush of water got most of the sugar crystals out of his hair. "_What do we do now?_" 

"_We have to get out of the bathtub,_" Heero announced. By now, the water level was up to their chins.

******

            "Do you hear something?" Quatre paused and stood still. 

            "Hear what?" Wufei tuned in.

"I think I hear rushing water coming from the bathroom." Quatre elaborated. 

"I can hear it," Trowa added as he put his cheek against the door.

"Should we check on them?" Quatre implied.

"Nah," Wufei replied.

******

            Duo scurried over the side of the tub and sat on the edge. Heero sat across for him with his legs dangling over, ready to jump. Heero landed safely on the floor and waited for Duo to hurdle over. Duo landed much more sloppier than Heero. They crawled a good distance away from the bathtub next to the door and watched the water flood over the side of the bathtub. The water slowly crept towards the trapped infants and splashed at their feet.

            "_This is the last time I'll ever take a bath with you!_" Duo declared. 

            "_GOOD!_" Heero answered with annoyance. 

******

            "Do you see that?" Quatre paused and stared at the floor.

            "See what?" Wufei began again.

            "The water seeping from under the door," Quatre concluded with wide eyes.

            "I can see it," Trowa obviously stated.

            "Should we check on them now?" Quatre asked, hoping for the answer he desired.

            "Yeah, I guess," Wufei replied.

            Trowa—being the closest to the door—slowly opened it, but the water quickly gushed out. He hastily stepped inside and shut the door behind him and stuck a towel under the door to prevent more water from coming out. He dragged his feet through the pool of dirty bath water and turned off the flow of water. Trowa sighed in relief and gazed across the room from the tub and saw the two babies huddled in the corner. Duo shook his hair, drenching Heero and crawled towards Trowa. 

            "_Man! I'm sure glad to see you!_" Duo hugged his leg. 

            Trowa smiled, picked him up, and wrapped him in a towel that hung nearby. He set Duo on the counter and did the same with Heero.

            "Is everything ok in there, Trowa?" Quatre's murmured through the door.

            "Yeah, everything's fine. Heero and Duo are ok, but there's still a lot of water in here," Trowa responded. He grabbed a cup next to a container of mouthwash and began to scoop up the water. The water happily swam down the bathtub drain, but swore revenge…

            Wufei and Quatre eventually entered the bathroom and assisted Trowa while Duo and Heero dried themselves off with their towels. Occasionally, they had small water fights using water from their hair; the wars were started by Duo and usually ended with Duo. 

            After most of the water was dumped into the tub, Wufei placed new diapers on Heero and Duo. Wufei gave a quick instruction to Heero about what and what not to put inside a diaper. Duo chuckled next to Heero. The teddy bear and lamb pajamas were dirty, so Wufei avoided dressing them. Meanwhile, Trowa and Quatre successfully drained the bathroom. At that moment, Relena and Hilde walked into the threshold. 

            "Wow, I'm impressed! It looks like you guys effectively cleaned them," Relena approved. 

            "You think so?" Quatre nervously chuckled.

            "But, wait a second…" Hilde paused mysteriously. The boys froze. "Where are Duo and Heero's pajamas?" The boys relaxed.

            "They're dirty, remember?" Wufei confidently answered. 

            "Oh, yeah. That's right. But, hold on…" The boys froze again. "Why is the floor wet?" There was silence.

            "Well, we just gave them a bath. So, they were wet and the water from them dripped onto the floor." Saved by Trowa!

            "But they're only babies. How could they drip this much water from their tiny bodies?" Hilde's hands were on her hips. Silence…

            "Duo's hair!" Quatre suddenly said, receiving a puzzled look from everyone. "Duo has a lot of hair. So, in turn, a lot of water was stored in his hair." Duo smiled proudly. Quatre redeemed himself!

            "But why is it wet all over the entire bathroom floor?" Relena arched her eyebrows. A deep stillness consumed the room.

            "Duo wanted to annoy us, so he took a little fieldtrip and crawled around the entire span of the bathroom, trying to get away from us." Go, Wufei! It's your birthday!! 

            "Well, that sounds like Duo!" Hilde smiled. The boys were in the clear!

            "Thanks for giving them a bath, guys," Relena praised.

            "It was nothing," Trowa added with a wink to his comrades. The girls waltzed over on the slippery floor and picked up Duo and Heero.

            "Mmm… you boys smell so good too!" Hilde added. 

            "Yeah, you smell like cookies, Heero!" Relena beamed, not noticing the pilots' reactions. Wufei quickly hid the garbage bin containing Heero's diaper behind him.

A/N: There's the end of chapter #5!! How'd ya like it? Please review and let me know! So, I'm not quite sure what's gonna happen next ^^;;;. You're ideas are welcome!! And who knows? Maybe I'll write a chapter based ur suggestion! Or, I could end it all in the next chapter. So basically, should there be another baby adventure/disaster, or should the torture cease and have them return to their original teenager form? Let me know!! ^-^ 


	6. Many Tears

A/N: Hee hee! I'm back, once again, for another chapter! Sorry it took so long, but I finally bought the Gundam Wing series on DVD and I was constantly watching it. Hee hee!!! But I wasn't slacking! Let's just say that I was "studying" the gundam wing characters. Heh heh… _like you'll fall for that!_ So, sit back, relax, and enjoy the fic! ^-^

~~~Many Tears~~~

            Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei all sighed in relief as the trudged out to the slippery bathroom. They plopped their bodies onto the large sofa in the living room. Relena and Hilde sat peacefully across from them with the mini pilots on their laps. Duo was fast asleep with a smile on his face and his arms and legs scattered randomly. Heero was bobbing his head, desperately trying not to fall asleep. He didn't trust anyone at the moment in his current form—especially the girls—and didn't want to risk falling asleep. Relena noticed Heero's sleepiness and began to gently stroke his back. Heero involuntarily smiled from ear to ear. His right foot even twitched like a dog getting scratched in the right spot. 'What in the heck am I doing?!' Heero snapped back to attention, quickly wiping the out-of-character smile of his face and ceased twitching. But it was no use… Relena's soft touch was regrettably pleasing and soothing. Heero slowly slouched over as another smile began to creep up on his face. In no time at all, Heero was sawing logs. 

"Are they both asleep now?" Wufei leaned forward in seriousness.

"Sound asleep," Relena nodded with her sweet smile.

"Good. Let's ditch 'em."

"We can't do that!" Relena, Hilde, and—out of nowhere—Quatre shouted in a loud harmony directly in Wufei's face, plastering him to the couch. Trowa just sat there, silent and unhindered. 

            Duo and Heero's eyes sprung open from the sudden screams. Heero felt an intense emotion of frustration and defenselessness, and went into a crying, shouting frenzy. With Heero's crying blazing in his ears, Duo felt an extreme emotion of alarm and terror, and bawled at the top of his lungs. Confusion and rage broke out…

"Look what you've done!" Relena shouted. Heero howled louder with tears streaming down.

"What I've done? You were the weak onna who shouted and woke up the brats!" Wufei rose up.

"We wouldn't have yelled if YOU hadn't made that outrageous comment!" Hilde stepped in. Duo bawled even harder.

"Ladies! Wufei! Please stop fighting!" Quatre squeezed in.

The various shouts continued for a while, and throughout the entire time Duo and Heero were screaming, sobbing, and wailing. Before Trowa's eardrums could burst, he slowly stood up and calmly walked in the girls' direction. Without anyone even noticing, Trowa grabbed the tear-soaked infants and stepped into the dining room, closing the door behind him.

"Guys! Stop fighting!" *sigh* 'It's no use.' Quatre knew he couldn't stop them on his own. He turned around for Trowa's assistance, but he wasn't anywhere in sight. "Trowa? Tro—Ah! Relena, please put that down!" Relena had picked up the heavy and expensive armchair next to her and took aim at Wufei. Hilde was cheering her on, Wufei's eyes grew large at Relena's unanticipated strength O_o, and Quatre waved his arms in panic. 

"This is for Heero!" Relena respectfully dedicated her revenge to her love, but just as she was about to chuck the chair in Wufei's face, she paused and frantically turned her head back and forth. "Where's Heero?!" Relena dropped the hefty chair on Quatre's foot and scurried around the room, turning everything upside down.

O____O ß Quatre. Poor, innocent Quatre… 

"Duo's gone too!!" Hilde gasped as she joined Relena in her searching. 

Wufei blinked a couple of times and thanked Nataku for his safety against the psycho onnas. 

Quatre lost all feeling in his toes as he began to gradually lift the chair off his feet. He slowly curled his toes, letting all the joints to pop back in place.

Suddenly, a noise arose that caused everyone to stop what he or she were doing and listen. The sound was pleasant and gentle as it echoed throughout the mansion's hallways. Without anyone giving a signal, they all herded towards the origin of the mysterious noise. The gang arrived in front of the dining room and stared at its huge double doors. Wufei stepped up and pushed open the doors…

Trowa leaned against the dining room table with his eyes closed as he played a soft melody on a flute. Heero and Duo were snuggly wrapped together in a tablecloth while fast asleep on a small, comfy chair. Trowa elegantly finished his sweet tune and looked up at his audience standing in the doorway. 

"That was so beautiful, Trowa," Hilde first spoke.

"Thank you."

"It certainly got the job done," Wufei remarked. "But, what do we do with these crybabies now?"

"We can tuck them away in the guest bedroom," Quatre suggested. "It's on the top floor, so it'll be hard to disturb them."

"That's a good idea, but how can we hear them? What if they need help?" Relena interrupted.

"We can use walkie-talkies; one upstairs and one with us," Wufei answered.

"Good plan," Trowa confirmed. 

 Relena carefully scooped up the pair of infants and headed upstairs with the others tailing behind her. They entered the large guest room and Relena slowly placed the babes on the king-sized bed. She cautiously unraveled the tablecloth around them. Everyone held their breath as Heero began to stir. Luckily, he was only dreaming and continued to snooze. Hilde draped a soft blanket over the two tots and smiled. Wufei set a walkie-talkie on the nightstand next to the bed and held the other in his hand. He switched it on and whispered in it for a test.

"Are you weaklings finished yet?" his voice slithered out from the walkie-talkie on the nightstand. Relena viciously grabbed it and responded back with an undertone voice.

"Yes, your Worshipness. We shall obey your every command and ditch these brats," she mocked as she narrowed her eyes. 

"Humph. Keep it that way," he turned up his nose and received a death glare from Relena. Quatre and Trowa looked down at the floor and shook their heads. Finally, the crowd of teens exited the guestroom leaving the babies all alone.

******

            An hour passed. Duo tossed and turned, occasionally kicking Heero. Heero shot up, ready to strangle him, but Duo had a look of discomfort on his face. 

'He's probably just having a nightmare,' he assumed and lay back down, eager to get back to sleep. Sorry to say, Duo kept tossing and turning, and kicking; but this time, Duo let out a tiny moan of pain. Alas, Heero became annoyed. He sat up and shook Duo rapidly.

"_Hey! Wake up!_" Heero shook harder.

"_I'm awake! I'm awake! Stop it!_" Duo pushed him away and sat up with a head rush. 

Heero was satisfied and went back to sleep. Duo, however, was not satisfied. He held Heero's nose and covered his mouth. Upon realizing his lack of air, Heero waved his arms around and punched Duo in the mouth. 

"_OOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!_" Duo screamed at the top of his lungs until Heero covered his mouth and put a blanket over him.

"_Shut up!_" he whispered. The sound of a thousand bulls running up the stairs was growing louder. "_Crap, they're coming._" Heero pushed Duo on his back and pretended to be asleep. Duo struggled against his pain and kept quiet.

"Heeeerooo!" Relena burst through the doors with Hilde right beside her. The girls rushed to the bedside and peered over the boys. "Heero! Are you ok?" No response…

"They're asleep?" Hilde tilted her head. 

"But I could've sworn that I heard a cry for help."

"Stupid walkie-talkie must be on the fritz."

"Is everything ok?" Quatre peeked in around the corner.

"Everything seem fine," Hilde answered. "The boys haven't even moved a muscle." 

"Maybe we should stay here and watch over them," Relena implied. Heero and Duo fought back their tears of protest and cringed. Fortunately, the girls didn't notice their reactions. 

"That won't be necessary," Quatre—who noticed their reactions—cut in. "Besides, you girls must be hungry. I'll cook up something for you," he smiled. 

"I guess I am a little hungry. Thank you, Quatre," Relena answered. Saved by Quatre!

The three of them evacuated the room, leaving the toddlers alone again. As soon as their footsteps faded away, Heero shot up. 

"_You baka! Why did you scream?_"

"_That punch really hurt!_" Duo defended himself.

"_I barely put any effort into that hit._"

Duo let out another moan. "_Oww…it hurts so bad!_"

"_Keep quiet and open your mouth._"

Duo obeyed him and opened wide. "_Ahh…_"

"_You didn't have to say 'ahh'._" Heero rolled his eyes. "_Here's your problem: you have a new tooth growing in._"

"_A new tooth? Oww…Geeze, it hurts!_"

"_Yes, it's supposed to hurt; you're teething. I believe if you chew on something, it'll ease the pain._"

"_Oh, ok!_" Duo captured Heero's finger and opened his mouth.

"_Not me!_" Heero pulled his finger away.

"_Oww… Please, Heero! I can't take the pain!_" tears began to stream from his eyes.

"_Don't cry! You'll attract the girls._"

"_But…I…c-can't…take it!_" Duo sobbed. More tears were flowing and he was just about to let loose a scream. Heero thought ahead and stuffed his braid into Duo's mouth, muffling his screams. 

"_Chew on your braid; maybe that'll help._" Heero was a natural at killing two birds with one stone. 

Duo obeyed him and began to speedily chomp away. Slowly but surely, Duo's smile returned. His braid helped, but not fully. At least it was enough to keep him from screaming.

"_Now, keep quiet._" Heero lay back down and closed his eyes. Ten seconds later—without warning—lightning bolts of pain struck Heero's mouth. His eyes popped open and he quickly sprung up. But as soon as he sat up, the pain disappeared. He lay back down and closed his eyes again. The pain swiftly returned, but this time, Heero let out a moan of pain and kicked Duo. 

"_Mph ffmph!_" Duo's braid muffled his complaint. 

Heero avoided eye contact with Duo and put his hands over his mouth. The pain was intense and it was making Heero's eyes water. His throat ached as he tried to fight back his sobs.

"_Heh heh. Are you teething too, Heero?_" Duo took out his braid to tease Heero. "_Too bad you don't have a braid like mine,_" he winked as he tauntingly stuffed his braid back in his mouth. Heero gave him the death glare, but Duo was unaffected by it. Instead, he smiled widely and lay back down under the soft covers.

Heero frantically looked around the room for something to chew. He knew that his fingers wouldn't be able to handle being mangled by his need to frantically chew. So, he looked at the sleeping Duo next to him. 'Hmm… No, not him. He'll leave a disgusting taste in my mouth.' Heero held the tip of the blanket to his mouth, but he realized that the fuzzy exterior would make his tongue itch and cause more harm than what was already done. More tears came to his eyes. Heero hastily scanned the room. His attention came to the walkie-talkie on the nightstand next to him…

******

            "CRUNCH, CRUNCH"

            "Hilde, you need to learn to chew your food more quietly; it's quite rude," Relena lectured.

            "Oh, sorry. I thought I was being quiet," Hilde responded after swallowing.

            "CRUNCH, CRUNCH"

            "Hilde! I can hear you chewing again!"

            "But there's nothing in my mouth," she protested.

            "Well, it sure wasn't me."

            "CRUNCH, CRUNCH"

            "Where's that noise coming from?" Hilde questioned, looking around the room. At the same moment, their attention came to the walkie-talkie on the table across from them.

            "CRUNCH, CRUNCH"

            "It's coming from the walkie-talkie," Relena stated.

            "You're right. But is that noise coming from the boys?"

            "We better check it out."

            "Right." ((*"Mission Impossible" theme song* sorry, but I had to put that. ^-^;;;))

            The girls journeyed upstairs with haste; the mysterious noise had to be revealed. Relena—leading the way—thrust open the door. The girls sweat dropped at the sights they saw: Duo—who was woken up by the door flying open—sat upright with a confused/sleepy stare while his entire braid was sloppily crammed inside his mouth, causing his cheeks to expand and a trail of drool to slither out of the corner to his mouth. Heero's eyes grew big in unexpected shock when the girls stepped in. He was in mid-chew with the walkie-talkie in his mouth. Busted!!

            "Dou, what are you doing?" Hilde giggled at the sight of Duo sucking on his braid. Duo put his hand behind his head and chuckled.  

            "Why are you biting the walkie-talkie, Heero?" Relena was utterly baffled. She stepped up to Heero and grabbed the walkie-talkie. But as she tried to pull it away, Heero bit down harder; he wasn't going to give it up. Relena tugged again, but to no avail. She gave the walkie-talkie a slight shake, causing Heero's head to wag like a dog's tail. 

"Heero, let go!" Heero shook his head and leaned back, trying to gain back his teething device. Relena's grip remained tight. 

"C'mon, Heero! Give it here!" Heero shook his head again and applied his hands to the walkie-talkie, giving it a yank. Finally, it slipped from Relena's grasp. Heero fell on his back, but continued to hold on to the walkie-talkie tightly. He scurried under the blanket to hide away from her grasp. There was a Heero-shaped lump under the covers! 

Relena pursued after him. She dug her arm under the blanket and began to feel around for Heero. Seeing her hand, he tunneled deeper under the blanket near the foot of the bed. 

This looked like fun, so Duo dove under the blanket and burrowed in circles, frequently bumping into Heero. Unfortunately for Duo, Heero was acting like a mother wolf protecting her pup and Duo's walloping was very irritating and posed as a threat toward his "pup's" safety. So, in the end, Duo was frequently shoved and pushed, sending little Duo rolling away under to covers and nearly falling off the edge of the bed. 

Suddenly, a bright light came forth and the warmth of the blanket was gone. Relena was culprit. She tossed the blanket on the floor, snatched up Heero—to his displeasure—and held him tightly. 

"Hilde! Pull the walkie-talkie out of his mouth." Heero kicked and squirmed, but it was no use. Hilde followed Relena's orders and held onto the plastic device. Heero braced himself and sunk his teeth (or maybe I should say "tooth") down hard. Hilde pulled—using two hands—and wiggled the walkie-talkie free. 

"_HEY!!! Give that back!!_" Heero screamed. He failed his mission to protect his "pup" and tears began to form in his eyes. He thrashed around in Relena's grasp before she finally set him down on the bed. Heero gave up on yelling—since it was getting him nowhere—and decided to sulk instead. He sat on the bed with his arms crossed and slowly felt the pain returning in his gums.

Duo managed a chuckle at Heero's strange obsession towards the communication instrument. That is, until Hilde came up from behind and tackled Duo. He nearly gagged on his braid from shock. Now it was Duo's turn to defend his "pup".

"Duo, you can't run around with your braid in your mouth. You could choke on it!" Hilde lectured. Duo shook his head. Hilde grabbed hold his braid and gave it a little tug. No progress. 

"You know, Duo. If you won't let go of your braid, then I'll have to cut it off," she smirked. 

Duo's eyes grew big. He sighed in failure and loosened his bite. Hilde tried again and slowly towed out his braid from his mouth. His braid seemed to never end! Finally, the tip of the braid emerged; it was displeasingly soaked with Duo's slobber.

"Ew! Duo, you're so gross." Hilde released Duo and put her hands on her hips. "What was your braid doing in your mouth?" 

Duo smiled sheepishly as the saliva dripped from his braid, but his grin quickly faded; the pain came back with a new intensity. He grabbed the pillow behind him and crawled inside the pillowcase to conceal his expressions of pain, time and again nibbling the pillow. Heero—out of nowhere—sat on top of the Duo Pillow. Duo shouted muffled protests as his little, exposed feet kicked about. His cries of discomfort helped soothe Heero's pain and strangely made him feel better.

Relena sat down on the edge of the bed and snatched Heero from his throne. She situated him on her lap and inspected him for the slightest bit of abnormalities. Heero sweat dropped and his face turned bright red when Relena quickly peeked inside his diaper, just to make sure that he didn't… uh… *ahem* make a mess. Meanwhile, Hilde held up the pillow in midair and turned it upside-down. Duo tumbled out of the pillowcase and landed on the bed with a "plop". 

"C'mere, Duo. Show me what hurts and let me take a look at you," Hilde softly asked. 

Duo had his hands over his mouth and responded with a rapid headshake. He attempted to get away and crawled in the opposite direction of Hilde. But, he was unsuccessful; Hilde pounced on Duo. With one hand, she held him down as best she could and pried open his mouth with her finger. Duo chomped down hard on her finger in objection, but as he did the pain went away. Upon his new soothing discovery, he went into a biting frenzy. The victim: Hilde's finger.

"Hey! Duo, stop biting my—" Hilde changed her tone from anger to concern. "Oh, are you teething? Is that what's bothering you two?" she cracked a smile. Duo slowly nodded and continued to chew her finger.

"Yes, that must be it!" Relena joined in. She had been holding Heero in funky positions, searching and examining every little detail of his body parts for any faults, but overlooked his mouth. She imitated Hilde and pried open Heero's mouth with her finger. A lone tooth was emerging from his delicate gums. "Don't worry, boys. We can help you." And with that, Relena placed Heero on the bed and raced downstairs, leaving Hilde alone with the tots. 

"C'mere, Heero. I'll let you chew on my other finger too," Hilde regrettably suggested. 

Heero was very hesitant. He didn't want to stoop down to Duo's level, but the throbbing pain of his gums was too much. Heero slowly crawled next to Hilde where Duo happily gnawed away on her right finger. Bit by bit, Hilde held out her left finger in front of Heero's face. Although a little unsure and embarrassed, he accepted her offer and let her place her finger inside his tender mouth. The pain gradually eased away as he gently bit down on her delicate finger. Duo gave a little chuckle in Heero's direction when he began to blush. Realizing that he was the center of Duo's quiet laughter, he gave a death glare in response.

Relena returned from her fieldtrip downstairs and stopped in her tracks at the scene she saw. 

"Oh, good! You're back. Did you get the teething rings?" Hilde smiled, relieved that she was saved from the biting pair.

"What are they doing?" Relena's voice arose quietly. 

"These two? They're biting my fingers. Do you have the teething rings?"

"But, why—why is Heero sucking on your finger?" her voice increased as she further pressed the issue.

"Well, it helps soothe his pain, just like Duo. Are the teething rings with you?" Hilde's voice grew tighter, trying not to sound annoyed with Relena's distrust and suspicion.

After a long pause, she answered, "Yes, I have the rings." 

Relena interrupted Heero's chomping and set him on her lap. She tossed to Hilde a gel-pack teething ring and held the other one up to Heero's face. Heero seized the ring from her with his tiny hands and vigorously chewed on it. Duo released his grip from Hilde's poor dismantled finger and happily chomped away on the teething ring, firmly grasped between his feet.  

Slowly but surely, drowsiness began to consume the Heero and Duo once again as the pain and tension leisurely subsided. The girls tucked them in beneath the warmth of the blanket and quietly crept out of the room and closed the door.

"Well, not counting the fact that those boys were grinding my fingers, I think that was kinda fun," Hilde whispered as they walked away from the guest bedroom. 

"Yeah, you're right," Relena smiled thinking back on how defenseless Heero was. 

"We should do something even more fun with them when they wake up." Her eyes lit up.

"The opportunities are endless," Relena grinned as thousands of ideas flowed into her mind. 

A/N: Wow! I think this is my longest chapter ever! Whew! So, what did ya think? Review, review, review! … Please ^-^. I love to read reviews. And if you got any ideas for where the girls (and possibly guys too) should torture—er… I mean should take them to, then let me know. Heh heh… this otta be fun… ^______^


	7. The Blanket War

A/N: yay! I finally updated! Sorry that it took so long, but I… actually, I don't have an excuse =^__^=. Thank you so much for all your reviews. You're awesome! So, without further to do, here's Ch. 7!! Please R&R! ^o^.

~~~The Blanket War~~~

Heero's eyes slowly opened as a beam of sunlight kissed his face. He groaned and rolled over, ignoring the afternoon sun's friendly greeting. As price to pay for rejecting the sun, Heero felt a chill rise through his body and made him extremely uncomfortable. He turned toward the sun and squinted his eyes. Heero reached for the covers in order to shield his sensitive eyes, but the blanket was playing hard to get and it refused to come. He lifted his head in frustration to scan for the disobedient blanket, but it was nowhere to be found. Well, at least not to be found on _his_ side of the bed. Heero bared his teeth as he glared at the thief. 

Duo was snuggly wrapped in a blanket cocoon with a wide, innocent smile on his face. His back was turned to Heero and his face was warmed by the cheerful sunlight. Heero shivered from coldness and rage. He yanked hard on "Duo's" blanket, sending Duo rolling across the bed into Heero's unwelcoming arms. After getting his half of the blanket, Heero pushed the dizzy and confused Duo away from him and back to the other end of the bed. Heero allowed the blanket to submerge him while he situated himself in a comfy position with a victory grin on his face.

Duo lay on his back with his eyes blinded by the sun's snickering. He gaped at the blanket only to realize that his half was reduced to nothing. Duo narrowed his eyes and stuck out his lower lip at the traitor. Duo tugged hard and reclaimed the entire blanket. Ah, nice and comfy. Too bad Duo didn't notice the giant vein popping out of Heero's forehead. Without any warning, Heero fiercely snatched the blanket and punched Duo off the bed.  

 "_Ow! Hey, Heero!_" Duo sat up from the floor and rubbed his throbbing head. His legs wobbled as he stood to his feet while leaning against the bed for support. "_What was that for?!_" Heero remained silent except for his well-known "Hn" reply. "_Ohhh… I see how it is…_" 

Duo grabbed "Heero's" blanket and gave it one good tug. Heero's sleepy eyes popped open as his body flew off the mattress and on top of the braided baka. Duo didn't plan that part; he now had a blanket, but he also had a Heero that came along with it. 

*~*~*~*

            "Did you hear something?" Hilde turned away from the TV and looked around.

"Hear what?" Quatre asked with concern.

"I thought I heard a crash."

Relena entered the living room with a cup of tea in her hand. "A crash?"

"Yes," confirmed Hilde.

"I heard it too," Trowa lifted his head. "It sounded like it came from upstairs."

"Maybe we should check it out." Relena placed her teacup on the coffee table. "Heero could be in trouble!" And with that, she took off and dashed upstairs. Hilde shrugged at her friend's haste and quickly gave chase. 

            Quatre slowly stood up and gently stretched his arms above him. "So, shall we follow them?" No answer… Wufei was in a state of suspended animation and was determined to ignore the drama queens, while Trowa… well, he doesn't need a reason to be silent; he's Trowa! (^-^;;) Quatre sighed. "Don't you want to help the girls or at least find out what made that noise?" Silence.

*~*~*~*

            "_Ow! Heero, your knee is digging in my hip!_" Duo complained with Heero still on top of him.

            "_Then let go of the blanket._" Heero thrust his other knee into Duo's ribs.   

            "_No!_" Duo fought back a cry of pain as he refused to give up."_Get off me!_" He tightened his grip on the blanket and began to push against Heero's chest.

            Heero firmly hung on Duo's waist. "_Don't make me hurt you even more, Duo._" He was determined to reclaim the blanket.

"_I'm not letting go…_" Duo's tone was serious; he was not going to let go for anything. That is, until he noticed where Heero's hands were. "_Whoa! Hey! Don't touch me there!!_" Duo immediately struggled fiercely, trying to wiggle free from Heero's grip.

Just then the door slammed open. Relena and Hilde scuttled inside only to find the boys tangled together on the floor. Duo and Heero froze entirely as their eyes widened to the size of apples.

"_Nothing happened!_" Duo protested as he turned a shade of pink. Heero loosened his grip and kicked Duo away, sending him sliding across the room. 

After a long pause of confusion and shock, Hilde broke the silence, "I think nap time is over for you two." 

A/N: That's it for this chapter. It was kinda short, I know. But the next one _will_ be longer. And I'll try to update quickly. So, no worries! To all the Wufei-fans out there: sorry that he didn't have any lines! ^___^;;; 


	8. A Trip to the Park

A/N: Yay! I'm back! ^________^ Thank you for ur reviews. I love reading 'em. ^-^ Many of you have requested that Heero and Duo should go to the park—_heheheheh _some of u guys are evil—so I decided to go with the flow of the reviewers! Alrighty then. Here's "your" fic! ^___~ Enjoy!

~~~A Trip to the Park~~~

            The living room was absolutely soundless and motionless. Wufei was in deep meditation on a cozy armchair, Trowa sat contently on a cushy sofa with his arms crossed and his head down, and Quatre sat next to Trowa with his hands in his lap. 

            Quatre was feeling very uncomfortable at the moment. He was doing his best not to break the sound barrier for Wufei's sake. He knew for a fact—thanks to Duo who found out the hard way—that Wufei did not like to be disturbed during his mediations. At the same time Quatre was trying to remain motionless for Trowa's sake. The soft sofa was extremely sensitive to movements and he didn't want to disturb Trowa's peaceful stillness. So, there Quatre sat: hardly breathing, barely moving, and very bored. 

            Trowa broke the silent/stillness moment by standing up and walking out of the living room. Quatre's weight shifted from Trowa's departure.

            "Where're you going, Trowa?" Quatre asked, but suddenly realized that he raised his voice too loud after receiving a growl from Wufei. "Oops… sorry, Wufei," he whispered and tiptoed after Trowa. Once he exited the room, he spoke, "Is everything ok?" 

            Trowa stopped walking, but kept his face turned away. "Yes, I just have to take care of something."

            "Can I help?" His face lightened in hopes of escaping boredom. 

            "I'm sorry. This is something I have to do alone."

            "But, if I help you, then you can get the work done twice as fast. Two is always better than one!" he smiled.

            "This is something that you can't help me with." Trowa began to walk away.

            Quatre began to worry. 'Is he leaving for a suicide mission?' he thought. "Wait, Trowa!" 

            "…" Trowa ceased walking and slowly faced Quatre. "Please, don't follow me," he replied gently.

            "But why, Trowa?" His voice strained.

            "Because, I… I have to use the bathroom."

            Quatre nearly fell over from his reply as his face turned bright red. "I'm really sorry, Trowa! I-I didn't know!" He was feeling pretty stupid right about now.

            Trowa nodded. "Don't worry about it." He let out small chuckle. "Where did you think I was going? On a suicide mission?"

            Quatre turned red again. "Ha ha… of course not!" he lied. "That would be silly!"

            Trowa smirked, seeing past Quatre's mask, and entered the fancy restroom. 

Quatre gathered himself and retreated to the living room. He plopped down on the bouncy sofa and sighed, forgetting about the annoyed Wufei. At that moment, the girls came descended downstairs with Heero and Duo in their arms. The boys were dressed in their pink teddy bear and purple lamb pajamas.   

"Hey, guys," Hilde greeted. "Guess what? Heero was making out with Duo."

"_NO, I WASN'T!!!_" Heero yelled even though nobody could understand him.

"Oh, what a coincidence. Winner over here was fussing over Trowa's bladder." Wufei joined in the teasing torture.

"No, I wasn't!!! Wait, you heard us talking?" Quatre changed his tone.

"Of course I did. I'm not deaf!"

"Well, Hilde and I are going to take the boys to the park," Relena quickly changed the subject before anymore unsettling/disturbing news could be spoken.

"_But, I don't wanna go to the park! Especially in this getup!_" Duo complained.

"_We don't have a choice, so stop whining._" Heero snapped.

            "When will you be back?" asked Quatre.

            "In about an hour or so, sometime before five o'clock," Hilde answered as she grabbed her car keys.

            "Ok, then. I'll have dinner ready by the time you get back."

            "Sounds good." The ladies waved goodbye as Duo waved in protest.

*~*~*~*

            It was a peaceful afternoon at the park. Children's laughter echoed throughout the playground, happy couples were jogging laps, and grandmothers sat on the wooden benches feeding the pigeons.

            However, on the opposite end of the peaceful park, it wasn't so peaceful as Relena and Hilde unloaded the teenage babies out of the car. Duo fidgeted in Hilde's arms, while Heero's face was stern and tense.

            "How about we set them down here," Hilde pointed to a spot in the sandbox.

            "Here is perfect," Relena approved. "It's nice, safe area for them to play in." 

            Duo and Heero were gently placed down on the warm sand. Relena opened a backpack and dumped a bucket and shovel in front of the boys.

            "_What's this for?_" Duo asked hoping for a reasonable answer.

            "Have fun, you two!" Hilde smiled as she and Relena sat on the wooden bench directly across from them.

            Duo sighed. He didn't want to be here, he was bored, and he was getting hungry. To chase away his boredom, Duo reached for the shovel and examined it: 'Small, plastic, and yellow.' He was bored again. Duo looked up from the ordinary shovel and stared at Heero. His knees were tightly tucked in toward his chest with his arms tightly hugging them. Heero's expression appeared troubled, like he was concentrating on something.

            "_Is something wrong, Heero?_"

            Heero slowly turned his head. "_No_."

            "_Are you sure_?" Duo persisted. "_You look uncomfortable_."

            "_I'm fine_," his voice stretched.

            "_C'mon, Heero! Something's bothering you, I can tell._"

            "_Just leave me alone_," he grumbled hoarsely with a stern glare. 

            Duo exhaled deeply. "_Whatever you say_." 

He gaped back at his yellow shovel. The plain and ordinary digging device suddenly intrigued him. Duo grasped the handle firmly and plowed it into the soft sand. He held the shovel at eye level and faintly tilted it, allowing the grains of sand to slowly pour out, and trickle into the plain and ordinary, red bucket. The sound of the sand spilling into the bucket sang like raindrops splashing on the ground. 

Heero's eyes widened as he observed Duo's amusement. "_Could you please stop doing that?_" He spoke quickly with a nervous tone.

Duo snapped out of his trance. "_Do what?_" He scooped up some more sand and bit-by-bit poured it into the bucket.

"_That! Don't do that,_" his pitch grew higher as he hugged his knees tighter.

"_Are you sure you're ok?_" Duo slightly smirked. He had never seen Heero so nervous and uptight like this before and it looked awkward and out of character.

"_Shut up. I'm fine,_" Heero struggled to loosen his voice. "_Just don't pour the sand like that._"

Duo's grin grew larger as he had the sudden urge to become the world's biggest pest. "_Like this?_" He scooped an extra large helping of sand and slowly dumped it in front of Heero's feet.

Heero's eyes began to water. "_Stop it!_" He squeezed his knees and curled his toes. 

Duo chuckled. "_Why should I? I thought you said you were fine._" Heero remained silent and turned away. "_Aw, c'mon, Heero. Just tell me what's wrong and then I'll leave you alone._"

Heero stared out of the corner of his eye. "_Is that a promise?_"

Duo thought for a moment. "_Alright, buddy. I promise,_" he smiled.    

He lowered his head and spoke softly. "_I…need to use the bathroom._"

"_Ah ha! So, that's what's been bothering you! I knew it!_" he snickered. "_I guess the Perfect Soldier DOES have a bladder!_" 

"_Shut up, baka!_" Heero threatened, being extremely careful not to make any sudden movements in his fragile state.

"_No need to get upset, pal,_" Duo eased up. "_But, I do have one question: why are you holding it in? I mean, if you hafta go, then just go! That's what diapers are for._"

"_I don't want to 'go'. It's disgusting._"

"_What are you talking about? It's completely natural!_"

"_Not when your pants become your personal toilet!_" Heero concluded. 

"_It's not that big of a deal, Heero!_" Duo argued back."_I already peed in my diaper_," he "proudly" stated. 

Heero did a double take. "_I didn't need to know that!_" His face contorted at the thought.

"_But you feel so relived after you do it. So, stop torturing yourself and go!_"

            "…_ I can't._"

            "_What do you mean? All you gotta do is just relax and…_"

            "_I know how to piss, baka!_" The vein popping out of his forehead indicated Heero's frustration. 

            "_Then tell me what's wrong._" 

            Heero breathed deeply. "_I just feel… uncomfortable with you sitting next to me._"

            "_Oh, I understand. You have a shy bladder! Don't worry, Heero. I'll let you piss in peace._" Duo grinned, grabbed his beloved bucket and shovel with his teeth, and crawled away to the opposite end of the sandbox.

            "_I do NOT have a shy bladder!_" Heero hollered back, but his voice fell to the ground. 

            Heero sat in the warm sand all alone, still embracing his knees. 'Duo's gone; maybe I should do it now,' he thought. 'But how can I? It's degrading! I refuse to lower myself to a helpless baby's level. On the other hand, Duo's right. I'm literally torturing myself. This can't be healthy for my body and I would feel a lot better if I just did it right here and now. No! I can't. That would mean that my diaper would have to get changed. I do NOT want anyone touching me there! That's even more degrading! I'll just wait until Dr. J can change me back into my original form and until then, I refuse to do it! Nothing will change my mind…'

            "_HEY, HEERO!! Did you tinkle yet?_" Duo sneaked up behind him and yelled in his ear. Heero turned white as a ghost and shrieked loudly. His breath came up short as he began to hyperventilate. Heero stopped breathing all together when he suddenly felt wet. Unfortunately for Heero, Duo literally scared the pee out of him. 

            "_YOU BAKA!! I thought I told you to NEVER sneak up on me EVER AGAIN!!_" Heero fumed. At the same time, he was repulsed and sickened by his "accident".

            Duo was blown away by Heero's outburst and fell on his butt. "_Sorry, Heero,_" he uttered sheepishly. "_So, 'mission accomplished', right? Did you piss yet?_"

            Heero clenched his hands into quivering fists and slowly answered through his grinding teeth, "_Yes, I did piss, and I have you to thank for it!_" He unfolded his legs and was ready to pounce.

            "_Alright! Good for you! I'm just glad I could help,_" Duo smiled, apparently not reading Heero's body language. "_So, how does it feel to be sitting in your own pee?_"

            Heero's last stand of sanity broke as he freely let loose his anger upon the Bakagami… 

*~*~*~*

            Hilde gazed at her watch and yawned. "Hey, Relena. We should get going. I promised Quatre we would be home around five o'clock."

            Relena looked up from her hand-weaved chain of flowers and nodded. She and Hilde rose from the spongy patch of grass and proceeded to the sandbox. Relena stood in front of Heero and knelt down to his height. 

            Heero innocently sat in his own little corner in the sand. The little, yellow shovel rested limply in his fingers. Every ten seconds or so, Heero would grip the shovel and rapidly beat the upside-down, red bucket like a bongo drum.

            Relena giggled at his playful behavior. "Are you ready to go home, Heero?"

            Heero's eyes lit up when he heard the word "home" and vigorously nodded. Accepting that as an invite, Relena picked him up and embraced him in her arms. 

            "Where's Duo?" Hilde scanned the playground, but was unable to locate the braided baby. Heero smiled. Relena turned her gaze from the "happy" Heero and joined Hilde in her search. Giving up on the hunt, Relena turned back to Heero and noticed his smile, still lingering on his "innocent" face.

            "Ok, Heero," Relena sighed. "Where's Duo?" Heero played dumb and shrugged. 

             Hilde smirked, knowing how to get an answer. "Alright then. Nobody is leaving this park until we find Duo." 

The smile quickly dropped from Heero's lips, as he pointed to the red bucket in defeat. The girls tilted their heads at his response. Nevertheless, Hilde bent down, lifted up the bucket, and gasped at the sight she saw. There, Duo was buried in the sand from the neck down with his braid stuffed in his mouth. Duo let out muffled cries for help at the first sight of daylight.

"Oh, my gosh! Duo!" Hilde shrieked as she frantically excavated Duo. 

Once he was free, Duo took out his braid and coughed up bits of soggy sand. Out of the corner of his eye, Heero was snickering in Relena's arms. Duo stuck out his tongue, but Hilde grabbed it between her thumb and finger.

"What did you do to Heero _this_ time, Duo?" she slowly let go his slobbery tongue.

"_What are you looking at me for?!_" he protested."_Heero was the one who buried me in the sand and pounded the bucket on my head for no reason!_" The girls—who could only imagine what he was saying—let out a sigh, shook their heads, and headed back for the car. 

A/N: That was chappie number 8! Woo-hoo! I've already started on chapter 9 and I have an idea for chapter 10 ^_______^ moving right along! But, this doesn't mean I won't be accepting ideas. I like to hear ur opinions ^-^. So, please review! 


	9. Upstairs and Downstairs

A/N: Alright! I _finally_ updated! Whew! It's been like a month ^__^;; Sorry 'bout that. I've been lazy. .  Here's chapter 9. May this fic give you laughter! ^_~

~~~Upstairs and Downstairs~~~

            Quatre paced back and forth on the kitchen tiles. He twiddled his hands in front of his chest, focusing only on his dancing fingers. Quatre's shoes squeaked to a halt.

"Are you sure I can't do anything to help you?" he solicited with puppy dog eyes.

Wufei sighed. "Alright, alright. If you're _that_ bored, then I guess you can stir this." He took a step back away from the sizzling stove.

Quatre accepted Wufei's invitation and proceeded to mix the concoction. "I wonder what's taking the girls so long to return with Heero and Duo," he asked to break the silence.

"They're probably on their way here as we speak," Trowa stated from the kitchen table.

            "I pray they're not," Wufei added with his arms crossed. "For the first time in a long time, it's been quiet and peaceful around here."

            Quatre shook his head. "I'm sure you'd miss them all after a while, Wufei."

            "Yeah," he scoffed. "In sixty years when I'm old and deaf."

             Trowa managed a soft chuckle at the thought of Duo in a wheel chair chasing Wufei with a walker at a retirement home. "There's something I'd like to see…"

            "What was that, Barton?"

            "Nothing," he replied with a cool head.

*~*~*~*

            Hilde and Relena barged through the massive doors of the Winner Mansion with the babies in their arms. Duo was still trying to shake the sand out of his braid, while Heero shifted uncomfortably in his moist diaper. The girls stepped into the living room and collapsed into the love seat sofa. 

            Duo sprawled out on Hilde's lap and wiggled his toes. Then for some strange reason, the fidgeting creatures enticed him. He firmly grasped his foot and in a slapdash fashion shoved them into his mouth. 

Heero remained confined, mostly because Relena glued herself to Heero, forever embracing him in a snuggly hug. He glanced at Duo only to quickly turn away in disgust. '_How could he do such an idiotic thing? It's pathetic…_' During these thoughts, he involuntarily inserted his thumb into his mouth. 

All the while, Relena silently squealed at Heero's abnormal and cutesy behavior, while Hilde was cursing herself for not buying a camera. 

"Oh, hello, ladies," Quatre smiled as he poked his head from around the corner.

"Hello," Relena and Hilde greeted in unison.

Quatre strode through the living room and parked himself in the armchair in front of them. As soon as he saw the infants, Quatre rubbed his eyes to make sure that they weren't playing tricks on him. It was no trick: Duo was definitely eating his foot and Heero was indeed sucking on his thumb. Quatre knelt down to their eye level.

"Hello," he smiled with a hidden smirk.

The boys finally realized the contents that occupied their mouths. [O.o] Heero quickly swiped his thumb out of his mouth while Duo immediately ushered his foot out of his. Their faces (especially Heero's) flushed crimson.

Quatre eased their embarrassment and changed the subject. "So, how was the trip to the park?"

            "It was… interesting," Hilde spoke up after a round of snickering.

            "_Yeah, it was interesting. Heero had an accident,_" Duo grinned as he wiped the drool from his mouth. 

            Heero jerked his head and gave him a death glare. Duo just sat innocently, totally immune to Heero's trademark.

            "Well, that's good," Quatre responded and proceeded with curiosity. "Did Heero and Duo have fun?"

            "I'd say they had… some exciting moments," Relena answered after pinching Heero's cheeks.

            "_Yeah, we had some exciting moments, but Heero got a little too excited at one point._" Duo snickered and received another death glare combined with a shallow growl from Heero.

            "So, where are Trowa and Wufei?" Hilde implied while wiping the slobber off from Duo's foot.

Quatre answered, "They're in the kitchen. Wufei insisted on preparing dinner."

            "Really? That was nice of him."

            "Well actually, he said that he wanted to show us what a 'real' meal tastes like."

            "Sure, that works too," Hilde sweat-dropped.

            Relena rolled her eyes. "So, what's he cooking?"

            "Lo Mein," Quatre slowly pronounced. Wufei had made sure that he wouldn't butcher the Chinese language. "He said it's chicken, shrimp, beef, and pork, stir-fried with noodles."

            A trail of saliva oozed down from the cracks of Duo's mouth followed by the low growl from Heero's stomach.

            "That sounds delicious!" Hilde declared. "I've been craving Chinese food lately." She stood up and handed Duo over to Quatre. "I'm going to go watch how he makes it. Maybe he could show me an ancient oriental technique and give me some recipes!" She beam and waltzed away.

            "Wait for me, Hilde!" Relena plopped Heero into Quatre's lap and pranced after her frantic friend.

            Quatre sat momentarily stunned as he gawked at the infants in his lap. Then it finally dawned on him, "Wait, ladies! Wufei won't like that!" Quatre swiftly scooped up the babies, set them on the sofa, and darted after Hilde and Relena.    

            Heero and Duo shared an awkward silence for a moment or two.

            "…"

            "…"

            "_Did Quatre just ditch us?_" Duo implied casually.

            "_Hn…_"

            "…"

            "…"

"_Are you thinking what I'm thing, Heero?_"

            "_Hn…_"

*~*~*~*

            "My answer is NO!" Wufei roared.

            "But, WHY?!" Hilde beseeched.

            Relena stepped between the two to provide a temporary boundary. "We just want to know your recipe, Wufei. That's all!"

            Quatre had tried to warn them, but girls on mission are hard to persuade. He gave up on the argue ten minutes ago and remained quiet on the sidelines with Trowa. 

Pilot 03 was pretty wise. He gave a new definition to "silent as the dead" and let the girls quarrel with Wufei.

            "I'm not going to give away _my_ recipe so easily!"

            By this time, Relena submitted to Wufei's stern answer, but Hilde was still persistent.

            "Well, I'm not going to give up so easily!"

            "Injustice!" A large vein popped out of his forehead. "Baka onna… You remind me of the braided baka!" Wufei's expression suddenly appeared startled.  "…Where is Maxwell?"

            The girls looked at Quatre's empty hands and the room became soundless. All at once, everybody stampeded out of the kitchen and into the living room. As they all had feared… Heero and Duo were nowhere to be found.

*~*~*~*

            Heero led the way on his hands and knees with Duo close behind him. They traveled a great distance away from the living room and ventured through many hallways, rooms, and dead ends. Throughout their little escapade, Heero was soundless, but Duo continued to babble on and on about random stuff. Whether it was the funny looking vase on the funny looking shelf, or the constant "I spy with my little eye…" game. But what _really_ annoyed Heero the most was the fact that Duo—who rarely looked where he was going—would occasionally head-butt Heero's butt. Every collision, would unpleasantly remind Heero of his soggy diaper.

            "_Will you stop that,_" Heero growled and snapped his head around and faced him nose to nose.

            "…_Stop what?_" Duo replied with a sheepish smile.

            Not letting his emotions get the better of him, Heero retorted in a slow monotone voice. "_Just watch where you're going and keep quite. Everyone knows we're gone, and are probably searching for us as we speak._" He faced forward and proceeded crawling away.

            Duo shrugged and followed after him. "_Don't worry, Heero. I'll shut up and watch where I'm—OOF!_" Will Duo ever learn?

            The terrible, disgusting, repulsive, squishy, and squashy feeling returned to Heero's sensitive skin. His shoulders shuddered from the feel of the urine-infested diaper. Frustration overcame him and a raging fire flickered wildly in Heero's eyes. He fiercely turned around and got right in Duo's face. 

            "_Don't… do… that… again,_" Heero snarled through his bared teeth.

            Duo swallowed hard and nodded.

*~*~*~*

            "I can't believe you lost them!" Hilde shook her fist in Quatre's face.

            Quatre waved his hands in protest. "It wasn't my intention, Hilde. I would never lose them on purpose!"

            Relena had already started to search for her "darling Heero". Every so often, a flash of Relena streaked by the living room.

            Trowa and Wufei were in no hurry to locate the downsized teens. They knew very well whom they were dealing with: the Perfect Soldier and the Stealth Pilot. It was going to take a while to find them…

*~*~*~*

            "_Whoa…_" Duo stared up the elongated staircase. "_Things sure look big and tall from a baby's POV._" 

            "_C'mon, let's go,_" Heero crawled away from the steps.

            "_Wait, let's go upstairs, Heero!_"

            Heero shook his head. "_If we go upstairs, then we'll have no way of escaping if necessary._"

            "_Well, sure… there's that. But, it'll be an adventure!_" Duo's eyes sparkled. 

            Heero wasn't amused. "_Do what you want, but I'm not going upstairs._" He crawled away without waiting for Duo to respond. 

Duo crossed his arms. "_Alright, fine. I'll just go alone._" 

*~*~*~* 

            Hilde and Relena continued their investigation. They searched high and low, in front of this, and behind that. Each attempt came up empty handed.

            Quatre, Wufei, and Trowa looked around for Heero and Duo… sometimes. Whenever one of the girls passed by, each of them bolted into action and hunted for them in every nook and cranny, but as soon as Hilde or Relena left the scene, they immediately stopped and slumped back into their seats.

*~*~*~*

            Duo once again stared up the long stairway. The more he stared, the longer and higher it seemed. Duo beamed at the challenge ahead of him and began to climb. 

The first step was the most difficult. Duo slowly placed his right hand on the first step, then positioned his left hand next to his right. …Halfway up the first step… His right knee rose higher and higher until it finally arrived onto the step with an unpleasant stretch. …One more leg to go… Duo bent his arms in a push-up position and shifted his weight from his left leg to his upper body. Within thirty-seven seconds, Duo had managed to pull himself up onto the first step.

"_One down, ninety-nine to go…_" Duo groaned. 

*~*~*~*

Heero let a smirk escape his lips. No more annoying conversations, no more "I spy" games, no more head-butts, and best of all no more Duo. Ah, peace and quiet, until… 

            "Heeeeerrroooo! Where are you?! HEEEEEERRROOOOO!!!!!" 

            '_Relena?!_' Heero frantically looked around the large library for somewhere to hide. He scurried over to a small antique bookcase and squeezed through the tiny crevice located behind it and held his breath.

            As Relena randomly approached Heero's bookcase, she scanned between and behind each book on each shelf. Unsuccessful, Relena got on her hands and knees and waddled under the end table next to it.

            Hilde entered the room and knelt next to her. 

            "Any sign of them?" she asked.

            Relena sighed with frustration. "There's no trace of them anywhere!"

            "Don't worry, Relena. We'll find them." Hilde paused, deep in thought. "I'll go check upstairs, ok?"

            "Ok. I'll stay downstairs and keep looking."

            Heero cursed to himself under his breath. '_I should've gone upstairs…_'

Hilde vacated the room, while Relena kept searching. For the time being, Heero was trapped in a tight spot between the bookcase, the wall, and Relena.

*~*~*~*

            "_Man! Those stairs never ended!_" Duo panted as he slouched over the last step. He peered through his long bangs and watched a bead of sweat trickle down and land on the floor.

            Duo's ears perked up as a new noise arose. The step underneath him vibrated with each _bonk… bonk… bonk_. His head zipped around causing his braid to swoosh behind him. 

            '_Hilde?!_'  

            Luckily, she was looking down at her feet as she ascended the staircase and was unaware of him. 

            Duo dashed up the last step and frantically hunted for a hiding spot. Hilde was drawing closer and closer, and Duo was clueless and confused. A sign of hope appeared to him in the shape of a heavy door slightly ajar. Duo scampered inside the shadowy room and concealed himself behind the door. He kept watch and held his breath as Hilde's shadow gradually passed by.

*~*~*~*

            "I FOUND HIM! I FOUND HIM!!" Relena screeched.

            Trowa, Wufei, and Quatre jumped from their seats. And to startle them even more, Relena came parading through the living room with Prune-Face-Heero in her arms.

            "I found Heero!!" Her face gleamed as she shoved Heero into their faces. 

            Heero scowled.

            The guys were completely baffled. How could the Perfect Soldier be discovered so easily by… Relena?

            "Where did you find him?" Quatre asked.

            Relena squeezed Heero briefly, and sat down on the crouch next to Trowa. "Well, I walked out of the library feeling utterly upset and unsuccessful when all of the sudden, I heard a loud crash. I quickly turned around and saw that one of the bookcases had fallen over with all its books scattered everywhere." Relena paused dramatically and ran her fingers through Heero's hair. "And who do you think I found buried under the books?" She couldn't contain the smile that slowly crept on her face.

            "Let me guess…" Wufei added sarcastically. 

            Relena cut him off and answered her own question. "Mr. Heero Yuy, himself!"

            Wufei rolled his eyes. "Foolish onna…" he mumbled.

            Heero squirmed in Relena's grasp. It was his fault for being caught in the first place. If he hadn't tried to wiggle free from the tight crevice so quickly, then he wouldn't have knocked over the bookcase.   

*~*~*~*

Fifteen minutes passed, and there was still no sign of Duo. At Hilde's desperate request, Trowa assisted with the hunt; he looked downstairs and Hilde searched upstairs.

Relena assembled herself on a comfy armchair with Heero in her lap—of course. She played with his hair, his toes, his fingers, and even poked his plushy belly.

Heero kept still, scowling and cursing. '_If I only had my gun right now_…'

Quatre gracefully set the table as Wufei laid out the food. Trowa entered the dining room and leaned against the wall.

"Still no trace of him?" Quatre inquired as he folded the napkins.  

Trowa inhaled the scent of Chinese food and exhaled deeply. "No." 

At that exact moment, Hilde's voice thundered from upstairs, "DUO!! What do you think you're doing!?!"                        

            Everyone quickly dropped what they were doing and bolted to the base of the stairs. 

Quatre hollered up the steps. "Is everything alright, Hilde?"

            Hilde emerged from the top of the staircase and stomped down to meet them, while holding Duo loosely in the crook of her arm. His arms and legs dangled and wobbled, and his eyes were slightly red and crossed. Food crumbs littered all around his grinning and giggling mouth.

            "So… where was he?" Relena edgily asked. "And why is he… like that?"

            Hilde narrowed her eyes at Duo. "He was hiding behind the bar, drinking sake and eating bread!"

            Duo chuckled sheepishly as the others sweat-dropped.

            "You have a bar?" Wufei raised a brow as he addressed Quatre.

            "It's not for me," he eagerly defended. "It was built for the Maguanac Corp."

            Trowa nodded. "That makes sense." 

            Hilde sighed and rubbed her forehead. "Let's just eat."

            "Good idea," each nodded.

            "Well, Duo already ate his dinner," Hilde glared at you-know-who. "Has Heero eaten anything yet?" She faced Relena.

            Relena took a seat at the dining room table. "Actually, I was planning on feeding him after dinner." 

            Hilde paused to gaze at the delicious meal on the fancy table. "Ok, that's fine; Heero can wait. But until then, where can we put these two while we eat?"

            "How about an icy, cold prison cell with and unreasonably small amount of breathing space," Wufei mumbled under his breath. 

Quatre elbowed him gently and cleared his throat. "I'll go find something to place them in," Quatre kindly offered. Within minutes, he returned carrying a tall and moderately large, blue laundry bin with tiny, eye-sized holes scattered throughout its surface. As a bonus, Quatre graciously stuffed the flooring with pillows. 

            "This will do just nicely. Thank you, Quatre!" Hilde placed the laundry bin on the floor near the table and carefully dumped Duo and Heero inside.

            Duo immediately latched onto Heero with a big hug. "_Hiya, Hee-man!_" he slurred.

            Heero gave him a fair warning: "_Get off me._"

            "_But *hic* you're sho comfy and warm._"

            Not in a touchy-feely mood, Heero violently shoved him away. Duo toppled onto his back and giggled. 

Duo slowly rose up and swayed back and forth. "_Hey, Hee-chan. You should've come *hic* upstairs with me._ _I had the best sake! The *hic* bread wasn't bad either._" 

            Heero remained silent with his eyes narrowed. "_How many bottles of sake did you have?_"

            "_Uh…_" Duo stared at the ceiling and let his head hit the pillows. "_I losht count after *hic* six._"

            Heero shook his head in disgust at the drunken baby.  

            "_Don't worry, buddy!_" Duo reached into his diaper and pulled out a small bottle of sake. "_Look! I saved some for ya!_" He asserted the bottle in front of Heero's face with a crooked grin.

            "_I don't want any._" Heero pushed the alcohol away from his face.

            "_C'mon! It's really good!_" Duo took sip for himself before thrusting it back within Heero's personal bubble. "_Aren't you hungry?_"

            Heero was starving. His stomach sent shocks of pain through his body each time it growled. Perhaps a couple of sips would ease his pains until he gets some real food… Heero reached for the bottle and paused in realization. "_Did you just pull that bottle out from your dirty diaper?_"

            "_I sure did!_" Duo hiccupped.

            Heero quickly retracted his hand. "_It's not worth it._"

            Duo shrugged. "_More for me!_" 

A/N: Well, that was a long and weird chapter… Thanks for reading it! ^__^ Please review and let me know what you thought of it! Feel free to submit any ideas. Oh, yeah! This chap. was based off of _Karen McCoy's _idea. So, thanks!!      __


	10. Bored

A/N: *stretches and yawns* Yeah, I know. I'm a slacker… Forgive me! I'll do my best to update faster. This one's a short chappie, but nonetheless, I hope you enjoy it! ^________^

~~~Bored~~~

            For the first time in his life, Heero was bored. There was no war to worry about, no missions to strategize, and Duo passed out ten minutes ago after muttering something about swimming pools filled with potato salad. Heero just sat there, in the middle of a laundry bin, with an unconscious Duo, and nothing to do except think about his growling stomach. 

            Of course, boredom has awkward side effects, especially for Heero. He tried to daydream, but his mind drew up a blank. So instead, he counted the number of tiny holes littering the walls of the laundry bin, he picked at his fingernails until every speck of dirt was gone, he timed how long he could hold his breath, and he even fantasized about a swimming pool filled with potato salad. That last one caught him off guard. It felt like the ZERO system was toying with his mind. This boredom thing… it had to be stopped.

            Heero desperately looked around his prison cell for anything that would bring him back to his sanity. His gaze landed on Duo…

            "_Target located… Mission accepted._"

            Instantly, Heero engaged in stealth-mode and proceeded toward Duo like a cat stalking a mouse. Within close range, he mentally noted that Duo's head was plastered against the wall, his nose was squished and scrunched up, and indentations on his forehead from the laundry bin's delicate design patterns were present. Subject appeared cataleptic with arms and legs tangled about aimlessly. Conclusion: temporary side effects caused by alcohol poisoning.

Well, Heero's observations managed to kill one minute. Yay… [-.-]

            Heero sat down next to Duo and stared. He stared… and he stared… and yes, he stared some more. Hurray, another minute passed by… [-___-] Heero rolled his head and groaned. He felt weak and pathetic.

            Suddenly, Heero noticed Duo's braid. Many jokes and insulting comments were formulated around that wad of hair; he was even guilty of that. But, perhaps it's worth examining…

            Slipping back into stealth-mode, Heero slowly lifted Duo's mane. The subject remained still, unaware of what was happening on the outside world. He held the braid in his hands and between his fingers, while turning and twisting it at different angles.            Ten minutes passed by of inspecting Duo's braid. Heero conducted a plethora of experiments with it. Such as, testing its weight, length, texture, number of split ends, its re-braidablity factor, the number of times it can wrap around Duo's neck, and the number of lumps from head to the tip ((twenty-two humps, in case you're wondering. I actually counted, but results may vary ^^;;)).

            Throughout the entire time, Duo's body was completely motionless. It was starting to bug Heero. He refused to admit it, but he actually missed Duo's talkative and cheerful habits. But, noooo… Duo had to pass out and leave Heero all alone. Perhaps it was time to investigate further…

            Heero let Duo's braid fall onto his back. He leaned forward and extended his finger toward Duo's head. *Poke* … nothing. No response whatsoever. Heero tried again with more force. *Poke!* … nothing. This was becoming aggravating. So, Heero began tapping Duo's skull repeatedly *POKE POKE POKE POKE POKE!*… nothing! Grr…

            Heero was just about to scream in Duo's ear, but a thought popped in his head and stopped him. He remembered a time when he refused to wake up from a deep slumber, and then Duo came along and fixed that problem quickly with one of his "pranks". If it worked on Heero, then it can work on Duo, right?

            Once again, he leaned forward and extended his finger toward Duo's head. But this time was different. This time, Heero licked his finger, making sure it was nice and moist. Then… Heero attacked and inserted his wet finger in Duo's ear while wiggling it around. Heero had perfectly executed his first "Wet Willy".

            Duo's eyes popped open to the size of tennis balls. "_YEACH!! Get off me!!_" He immediately straightened up and waved his arms around. After Heero graciously removed his soggy finger, Duo vigorously rubbed his ear against his shoulder. "_Bleah! Yuck! Aw, man!_"

            Meanwhile, Heero was intrigued by Duo's reactions. In fact, he laughed. ((Just picture the laugh from Episode 1 @_@))

            Duo faced Heero and glared. "_What the heck was THAT for?!_" he yelled, rubbing his ear with the heel of his hand.

            Heero composed himself—except for the smirk on his face. No response…

            Duo blinked a couple of times. "_Was…was that your first practical joke?_"

            No response… blink, blink.

            A smile stretched across Duo's face. Perhaps waking him up was a bad idea… "_WOW! I can't believe it! That was a good one Heero._" He tackled Heero to the ground and ruffled his hair. Yep, waking him up was definitely a bad idea… Curse boredom! 

A/N: Heheheheh ^___^;; So, now that you read Chapter 10, please review! Domo arigato!


	11. Bath Time Again?

A/N: Hee hee! I'm back! I'm trying to update faster for ya guys, but please bear with me. ^__^; Hope ya like Ch. 11!!

~~~Bath Time Again?~~~

After getting pushed off of Heero, Duo retreated to the corner of the laundry bin. He watched as Heero tried to fix his hair from the previous tackle/ruffling. But as the seconds flew by, his head began to throb violently and the taste of bile mixed with alcohol saturated his tongue. The world spun around him, never ceasing, never slowing. Duo collapsed onto the floor with his head buried among the pillows beneath him. His hangover had finally come…

"_H-Heero…_" Duo managed to squeak out a call for help. 

Heero turned around and looked down at him with a mild glare. Unsure of whether Duo was kidding around or not, he crawled next to him, sat down, and crossed his plushy arms. "_Yes?_"

            Duo let out a deep groan and curled up into a fetal position, hugging his knees. "_I…I need…_"

            Heero uncrossed his arms and leaned forward. Very carefully, he helped Duo up to a sitting position, and gave him a shoulder to rest on. "_What do you need?_"

            "_I need…_" Duo moaned and covered his mouth. "_I need to throw up…_" His face dramatically paled.

            Heero's face turned a light shade green and his eyes temporarily widened at his response. This was not a good place to puke, especially when Duo was leaning against him. Heero looked around, but found no solution. He turned to Duo and gently rotated his body so that Duo faced the _other _way. 

As if on cue, Duo did what he needing to do, but it was a lot more than Heero had expected or could handle at this point. Duo's vomit created a chain reaction in Heero's body. Heero gagged uncontrollably and covered his mouth, but it was too late…

*~*~*~*

            "Did you hear something?" Relena lifted her head from her creamy soup. Everyone tuned in, but heard silence… then a retch.

            "There! I heard it again!" she quickly stood up, making her chair squeak along the floorboard. 

            Hilde jumped out of her seat and focused her attention on the little laundry bin. "I think it came from the babies!" With that, the girls flew to them.

"Oh, no! Eww!!" they shouted in unison.

            The G-boys exchanged curious glances and hesitantly crowded around the bin.

"Yuck!!"

*~*~*~*

            "No way, Onna! I'm not going to clean them up!" Wufei's voice resonated, momentarily drowning out the earsplitting cries of Duo and Heero.

            "Well, would you rather clean up the barf-infested laundry bin and pillows?" Hilde shouted in return.

            Wufei wanted neither, but before he could snap back, Quatre stepped between them. 

            "We'll handle the boys; don't you worry." He grabbed Duo under his armpits, holding him at an arm's distance. 

            Coming from behind, Trowa swooped in and did the same with Heero. He followed Quatre upstairs with the infants still bawling from their extreme discomfort. Not wanting to stay with the women, Wufei scoffed and trudged upstairs without a word.

*~*~*~*

            Trowa lightly kicked open the bathroom door and stepped inside with Heero squirming and shouting. Staying close behind, Quatre entered with Duo crying his eyes out as the world continued to spin around him. At the sight of the bathtub, the infants bawled and wailed even louder. Wufei soon arrived, shutting the door behind him.

            "Can you please turn on the bath water while we undress them?" Quatre yelled over the deafening screams. Wufei nodded with slight agitation and proceeded with his chore. 

            Removing their clothing became a very delicate procedure. The babies became time bombs and the vomit became deadly acid. Trowa was able to complete his task first; Heero was more than ready to take off the vomit-stained, teddy bear clothes and his moist, soggy diaper. 

Quatre's task, however, was a challenge. Hot tears streamed down Duo's cheeks; his condition was worsening and it wasn't making things any easier. Duo's head pulsated more intensely, his stomach churned some more, and his double vision intensified. He rolled over and wrapped his arms around his head, hoping the hallucinations would go away.

Trowa placed Heero in the soothing, hot bathtub. Immediately, he began scrubbing and cleaning himself. This was exactly what he needed… almost; Trowa stood completely still… watching him. It was making Heero feel uncomfortable. 

He was not going to let his guard down this time. After the whole 'flooding the bathroom' ordeal, Trowa stayed focused and played the role of an intense babysitter. He crossed his arms, keeping his visible eye ever watchful. ((A/N: keep in mind, this fic is non-yaoi. Trowa's not… ya know… "starring" O__O))

With Wufei aiding Quatre, Duo was finally set free from his clothing and squelchy diaper. Carefully placed into the tub next to Heero, Duo let the comforting waters saturate him. His eyes remained securely shut in order to stabilize his spinning, dizzy head. 

Despite their rocky friendship, Wufei felt bad seeing Duo suffer like that—even though he was a baka for consuming all that alcohol. So, he got an idea and reached into the bathroom cabinet, hunting for a special item in mind. Wufei cleared out the cupboard and placed various items such as shampoo, bubble bath, toilet paper, etc. on the floor and out of the way. Finally, Wufei found what he was looking for. He placed an aromatherapy candle on the counter and struck a match.

Heero glared under his wet bangs at Trowa… Trowa stared back. 

The sweet smelling fragrance slowly drifted to Duo's nose. It was the sweet smell of jasmine flowers and saccharine spices. Gradually, his head stopped spinning and came into focus. That familiar smile stretched across Duo's face as he slunk deeper into the hot bathwater and relaxed.

"Hey, I think Duo's feeling better," Quatre celebrated in a soft voice. "That was a good idea, Wufei." Wufei nodded a thank you, while Trowa stayed focused on his mission: to keep the bathroom safe.

"…" Heero mused as the tall figure towered over him.

Quatre stood next to Trowa. "Do you think we should help them this time?"

"_No!_" Heero declared.

Guessing that babble meant 'no', Trowa complied. "They don't need help, however they shouldn't be left alone."

"I agree with Barton," Wufei spoke up after hiding the matches, just in case. "I don't want to have to clean up after their mess again."

Quatre nodded and leaned up against the wall next to Wufei. Trowa slid back against the bathroom door, which was directly across from the bathtub.

All of the sudden: drip… drip…

"What was that noise?" Quatre questioned. The three stared at each other and then at Heero. He gave them an innocent look and shrugged.

Drip… drip… sploosh!

"_Oops…_" Duo squeaked. Everyone immediately eyed Duo. The braided culprit held a now empty bottle of bubble bath. 

Wufei snatched the bottled from Duo's pruned fingers and raised his fist in the air. "How did you get this and what did you do with it!" It wasn't a question; but more like an angry statement.

Duo sweat-dropped and chuckled nervously.

"Perhaps this won't be a problem, Wufei." Quatre put his hand on his shoulder. "The bubbles will help clean them up. They might even have some fun."

Wufei rigidly turned his head and faced Quatre. He held the 32-ounce, family sized bottle in front of his face. "Maxwell… poured… the ENTIRE… bottle!!" 

"… Oh, dear…"

Five Minutes Later:

            "The bubbles are growing; they just won't stop!"

"Quick! Get some buckets or something to scoop them out!"

"I can't find Heero or Duo!"

"What?!"

"_WOO-HOO! This is fun!_"

"_Duo! Where are you, baka!_"

"_You gotta find me! Ha ha! _"

Five More Minutes:

"The foam is overflowing!!"

"Let's get outta here!"

"No, don't open the door!"

"Yes, open the door!"

"_Hey, Heero! You look like Dr. J with that bubble beard!_"

"_DUO!!_"

Three Minutes Later:

"AHHHH!!!!"

            "_Ack! Heero, help! The bubbles are climbing up my nose!_"

            "_Deal with it!_"

*~*~*~*

            "I wonder what's taking the boys so long," Relena pondered out loud, while Hilde put away the last of the cleaning products. 

"I'm sure they're fine."

*~*~*~*

            "_This is so NOT cool…_"

*~*~*~*

            "Are you sure?"

            "Mm-hm. The boys can take care of themselves."

*~*~*~*

            "We need help!!"

*~*~*~*

            "I guess you're right."

*~*~*~*

            "_Heero? Is that you?_"

            "_No._"

            "_Are you sure? Isn't this your head I'm touching?_"

            "_No. I'm right behind you…_"

            "_… Am I touching you now?_"

            "_Yes. That's my face…_"

            "_This is your face?_"

            "_Yes._"

            "_Are you sure?_"

            "_Yes! Stop poking me!_"

"What do we do?! What do we do?!" 

            The foam rose up to their necks.

            "Don't panic, Quatre."

            The foam reached their chins.

            "Can I panic now?"

            "Only the weak panic!"

            The foam covered the tops of their heads.

            "You can panic now," Trowa and Wufei responded in unison.

*~*~*~*

            Relena exhaled deeply. "Shouldn't they be done by now?"

            "Yeah, they _should_. We better check on them; they might need help."

            The girls walked up the stairs at a somewhat fast pace. They reached the bathroom door and heard frantic and random shouting. A thick trail of bubbles oozed out from under the door. They exchanged confused and curious glances. Relena cautiously grasped the doorknob and pulled it open…

            A tidal wave of bubbles came crashing down onto Hilde and Relena along with Quatre, Wufei, Trowa, Heero, and Duo. Limbs were flying everywhere and heads were clashing together. Foam covered everyone and everything.

            Relena and Hilde were tangled in an awkward position with their eyes wide open in shock.

            Quatre crawled out from under Wufei and Trowa and cracked his spine. The girls stared at him with puzzled looks, but their gazes slowly turned into fuming glares. 

            "Well, at least Heero and Duo are clean," he chuckled sheepishly.

            Relena spoke through gritted teeth, "Oh, really? So where _are_ Heero and Duo?"

            Blink, blink "…" 

A/N: So, did ya like it? Hate it? Or was it too weird to discern? ^____^;; lemme know ur thoughts! You guys are so nice with ur reviews! *does a happy little dance* Thank you so much! More reviews are VERY much appreciated! I'm still open for ur suggestions for future chappies and suggestions for my writing too if you want. Arigato! ^___________^


	12. The Aftermath

A/N:  Yo! I'm back! Sorry I took so long, but I was busy braiding Duo's hair. ^____^; Enjoy Ch. 12!

~~~The Aftermath~~~

            Quatre scrapped the bubbles off his tongue, Trowa ran his fingers through his uni-bang, and Wufei cracked his neck back into place.

            "So where _are_ Heero and Duo?" Relena repeated with her hands on her hips.

The boys exchanged blank looks at each other. They were already in a heap of trouble for "placing the babies in danger" with their "accidental" bubble bath, but now another problem surfaced: the location of Heero and Duo was unknown. So, how should the G-boys respond? An "I don't know" answer would most likely pay the penalty of a broken nose or perhaps a very sore crotch.

Hilde became impatient. "Well?"

Quatre swallowed his nervousness and leisurely rose from the foamy floor. "We'll find them," was all he said, and he backed it up with a reassuring half smile. Trowa and Wufei nodded in agreement.

"Wait, let me get this straight," Relena spoke slowly in a low tone. She rolled her hands into small fists and took a step closer to the boys. "Are you saying that you don't know where they are?"

Uh-oh. There's that "I don't know" statement. Quatre's tenseness returned. He looked to his fellow pilots for help. Wufei crossed his arms and shrugged; Trowa simply remained still. Quatre turned around to face the irritated girls, but something below the foam near to his feet caught his eye. It looked like… a braid? … A braid!! Mercy smiles upon the G-boys!

Quatre quickly knelt down and excavated through the bubbles, uncovering more and more of the chestnut braid.

Hilde scurried in front of Quatre. "Duo! There you are!" She scooped him up and squeezed him tightly. Duo coughed out bubbles and gasped for air.

"_I… can't… breath! Hilde!!_"

"What about Heero?" Relena stressed. "What if he's hurt?!" As she panicked, she felt a slight tugging on her hair. Relena zipped around and saw Duo releasing a strand of her hair and pointing towards the bathroom.

Duo tried to emphasize in English, but what came out was just high-pitched gibberish. "Daba."

Relena tilted her head and smiled, admiring his baby talk. "What was that, Duo-kun?" [A/N: In case you don't know,"-kun" is a cutesy Japanese name for a little boy.]

Ignoring her mockery, he repeated himself louder. "Daba! Daba!" Duo pointed with each "word".

"He said, 'there'," Trowa suddenly spoke up and carefully led Relena into the slippery bathroom as everyone else followed.

"Where now, Duo?"

"Bafffta."

"What?"

"Baaafffftaa!"

"What did he say, Trowa?" From that moment on, Trowa became known as the official baby translator. Who would've known?

"The bathtub," he calmly answered.

Sure enough, Duo (and Trowa) was right. Buried under the thick layer of foam, Heero clung onto the faucet with a mighty death grip. Trowa pried him off, picked him up, and wrapped him in a snuggly bath towel.

It was at that point, when Hilde realized Duo was also naked. Her face flushed and turned bright red. "Um… c-could someone take Duo away from me?" After all, her arm was supporting Duo's little bare bottom. Wufei rolled his eyes, grabbed a towel, and aided Hilde.

"Thank goodness they're ok; no thanks to you three…" Relena muttered the last part. "Now, if you boys would, get Heero and Duo dressed and then clean up all this foam."

Wufei narrowed his eyes. "So, _we_ have to do all the work while you onnas just sit back and watch?"

Relena lifted her hand and flicked her hair back. "Of course not. Hilde and I have other chores to complete." She paused allowing their curiosity to sink in. "Heero and Duo haven't had a chance to eat dinner yet, so we are going to get things ready for them." Relena let a small giggle escape her mouth.

Heero's head sprung up from underneath the towel when he heard the word "dinner" and Duo's eyes sparkled as a trail of drool oozed from his mouth. "_Fooood…_" they both breathed out heavily.

Hilde chuckled at the infants' hypnotic state. "Just bring those two into the kitchen when they're ready, k?" Wufei nodded in confirmation feeling to some extent satisfied with the onnas' response. And with that, the ladies departed leaving the men to clean up. Yes, I know: a twisted world they live in…

As soon as they left, Duo and Heero were eager to get dressed and tugged on Trowa and Wufei's sleeves.

"_Come on, hurry up! I'm starving!_" Duo whined. Wufei growled in annoyance and set Duo down on the bathroom countertop. Trowa trailed behind and set Heero next to Duo.

Quatre clapped his hands together. "Ok, let's get started. You guys can dress them while I get a head start on cleaning up the all this foam. When you two are done, you can help me out, alright?" The plan was laid out and the mission was accepted. But there was still one problem.

"Where are their clothes?" Trowa mused out loud.

"…"

"And what about their diapers?" Wufei added.

"… Uh, maybe I should go ask Relena." Quatre literally slid out of the bathroom and out of sight with a loud crash. A second or two later, he walked passed the doorway, rubbing head.

Silence… Stillness.

Duo and Heero were growing impatient as their stomachs growled noisily.

Silence… Stillness.

Their baby level of tolerance disintegrated and salty tears began to form in their eyes.

"I think they're about to cry," Trowa stated.

Wufei stared at him with alarm. Usually it was Duo's job to state the obvious. "…Then maybe you should do something about it."

The two mini-pilots let out heavy sobs. So, Trowa came to one conclusion: "I don't know what to do."

Wufei face-faulted. "You've done it before! Remember? You played a song on your flute and it calmed them down!"

"Well, yes, but…" Trowa paused. "This is a different situation. And besides, I can't remember where I put my flute."

Wufei nearly fell over. "You never were good at remembering things," he muttered. Heero and Duo cried louder, demanding food into their bellies. Wufei rubbed his temples. "What's taking Winner so long?!" he shouted, making the babies bawl even louder.

"Don't yell like that. You're upsetting them."

"Then make them stop crying!" Wufei snapped.

"I told you, I don't know how. _You_ make them stop!!"

Trowa's outburst left Wufei speechless.

Hot tears streamed down Heero and Duo's faces as they screamed to the top of their lungs. Trowa and Wufei covered their ears. This wasn't working out at all.

Trowa grabbed Duo and rocked him back and forth; just like the mommies on TV. Television always knows best, right? Duo bawled louder. Maybe not…

"That's not working," Wufei waved his arms. Look who's stating the obvious now…

Trowa narrowed his eyes, shoved Duo in Wufei's face, and motioned for him to grab the tear-soaked baby. Duo let out a loud groan and kicked his feet.

Wufei didn't want to argue with Trowa; not with those frustrated eyes. He stared at the braided infant for a moment or two, and then carefully held him as far away as he possibly could. "What do I do now?"

Trowa picked up the crying Heero and wrestled with his constant squirming. "I don't know. Make him laugh or something."

"But, how? How do I make him laugh?"

"I don't know… Try making a funny face."

Wufei looked at Trowa as if he was wearing a hot pink tutu. He lowered his tone and spoke very slowly so there weren't going to be any misunderstandings, "Do I seem like the kind of person who makes funny faces?"

Trowa paused and thought about that for a moment, "… No. No, you don't."

"Good. Then let's keep it that way."

Heero and Duo continued to weep and moan as their stomachs growled and complained.

"What's going on in here?!" Quatre hollered over the infants' screams. He stood at the threshold, holding a brown box in his arms.

Duo and Heero ceased crying instantly. Silence… Stillness. Then, "_Quatre!!_" They held out their arms to him and yelled out his name. "Catwa! Catwa!" Or… what sounded like his name.

Quatre raised an eyebrow and suspiciously made his way toward the infants. All the while, Trowa and Wufei stood there utterly baffled. 'What's so special about Quatre that made them stop crying?' After placing the box on the countertop, he held out his arms in return and hesitantly embraced Heero and Duo in each arm.

"Catwa!" Duo blissfully chewed on Quatre's sleeve. "Chu!" ^_________^

Even Heero was exposing an affectionate greeting. He closed his eyes, buried his nose in the crook of Quatre's arm, and silently cooed.

Not knowing what else to do, Quatre remained silent and watched his pocket-sized friends cuddle with him… and drool on him.

Wufei shook his head. 'I expected better from Yuy.' After muttering "weakling", he proceeded towards the box Quatre brought in and inspected its contents: a pair of new baby outfits, fresh diapers, and two pacifiers. Wufei grabbed the diapers and waved them in the air to get Quatre's attention. "Shall we get started now?"

Quatre looked up from his bundle. "Um, sure." He carefully skated across the slippery tile, nearly banging his knee against the sink.

Trowa glided swiftly and stopped next to Quatre. "Here, let me help you." He extended his arms and waited for a baby.

"Thanks, Trowa. Could you take Duo? I think he may have actually chewed through my shirt." 

Quatre was right. Duo's first baby tooth had grown significantly and it needed to practice. A trail of drool stretched from Quatre's shirt to Duo's mouth as Trowa pulled him away. Sure enough, his shirt had a hole the size of a pea on the sleeve near his shoulder.

As soon as Quatre's warmth disappeared Duo let out a high-pitched whine and reached back to Quatre, wiggling his fingers. Just as he was about to cry, Wufei shoved a pacifier in his mouth.

Duo crossed his eyes and tried to stare down at the foreign device. Was it food? He wrapped his tongue around the rubber texture and absorbed its tasteless feel. Frustrated that it wasn't food, Duo bit down as hard as he could. His tooth sunk into the pacifier's bouncy rubber, and the pain in his tooth suddenly disappeared. The pacifier is now officially his new best friend.

Satisfied with Duo's reaction, Wufei grabbed the other pacifier and turned to Heero. His face was still buried in Quatre's sleeve and his tiny fingers wrapped around his vest. Hesitantly, Quatre pulled him away and exposed his face to the bright, cold world. This—mind you—did not make Heero happy.

"WAAAAA!!"

Ignoring his ear-splitting yelp, Wufei took advantage of Heero's wide-open mouth and shoved the other pacifier inside. His angry outburst ceased, mainly out of confusion. Was it food? Heero lightly bit down on the rubber. His new emerging tooth found a new sense of relief. Heero's face brightened into a Duo grin as he sucked on his pacifier.

Now that the babies were content, it was time to get them dressed. Heero and Duo were laid down on the bathroom countertop without a fuss. So far, so good… They just simply sucked on their little pacifiers with a smile across their little faces. In no time, their diapers were strapped on. Step one: complete!

"I'll go get their clothes." Trowa rummaged through the box and held up the two one-piece outfits. One of them was covered with little kitties and the other had little doggies on it. Trowa smirked; he knew which outfit went with whom.

"The cats are definitely for Heero!" Quatre giggled as Trowa showed off the new garments.

"Then those frolicking mutts must belong to Maxwell," Wufei added with a chuckle.

Duo didn't mind his new attire at all; he actually liked it. Heero wasn't a fan of the "cute kitties", but they were a whole lot better than the teddy bears he wore before.

Trowa, Wufei, and Quatre stood back and observed the infants dress themselves. Heero had no problems with putting on his clothes. He inserted his plushy legs into the correct slots, and then slid his arms through the sleeves. The only assistance Heero needed was the snap-on buttons. Quatre kindly aided him, and Heero was all set.

However, Duo was a different story. He put his arms in the leg holes and his legs into the sleeves. When he couldn't find the opening for his head, he knew something wasn't quite right.

Quatre nudged Wufei with his elbow. "Why don't you help him?" It wasn't really a question, but an insist.

Wufei watched Duo flapped his arms, trying to free himself from the devouring pajamas. But, each struggle worsened his predicament. Wufei clearly faked a smile. "Sure. _I_ will help him, friend Quatre. Let me give Maxwell a 'helping hand'."

Quatre was uneasy towards Wufei's response. He didn't like the way he pronounced "helping hand". Perhaps this was a bad idea…

Duo looked up and saw Wufei towering over him. He let out a sheepish cackle and shrugged in defense. Wufei cracked his knuckles and grabbed Duo's right foot. Before he could counter, Duo was hoist into the air and upside-down. He could hear Quatre's gasp and Heero's snicker as his arms and braid dangled below him. Wufei knew exactly what he was doing, besides giving Duo a head rush. Holding the braided baby with one hand, he untangled his limbs with his other hand. 

Duo was not helping the situation at all. He kept trying to grab his feet and pull himself up, and frequently tugged on Wufei's arm to get his bearings. Wufei just smacked his forehead or poked his ribs to get him to stop. It worked sometimes, but the rib poking made Duo jerk violently and giggle.

Finally, the pajamas were off and Duo was without delay dropped onto the countertop. Don't worry, he's fine; he landed on his head. Duo rubbed his head, sucked on his pacifier, and let Wufei dress him without any interference.

"There," Wufei declared and crossed his arms. "He's dressed."

"… Um, yes. Yes, he is." Quatre's attention was on Duo. If there were any bruises, they would be in trouble. With no visual damages, Quatre faced Wufei and offered a timid smile. "Thank you, Wufei for your 'helping hands'."

In the background, Heero clapped and little hands together and nodded. He quite enjoyed the show. Duo recovered from his head rush enough to be able to stick out his tongue in Heero's general direction.

"We should take Heero and Duo downstairs now," Trowa reminded them. "The girls are waiting to feed them." 

The infants' eyes widened. "_Fooooooood…_"

"Yeah, you're right. Let's go." Quatre picked up Duo and securely held him.

Wufei nudged Trowa. "_You_ take Heero." He was done with babies for a while. Trowa nodded and followed Wufei and Quatre with Heero in his arms.

"_Food, food, food, food, food!_" Duo chanted over and over. He bounced as much as he could in Quatre's grip.

From downstairs, Relena and Hilde could hear Duo's babble. They raced to the foot of the stairs and greeted them with huge smiles plastered on their faces. Without another word, Heero and Duo were snatched away and hugged until their eyes bugged out.

"Thank you, boys for dressing them," Hilde was the first to speak after the "tender" reunion.

Quatre bobbed his head. "Your welcome."

Changing the subject, Wufei turned around and made his way back upstairs. "Let's hurry and clean up the bathroom." He wanted to get that over with as soon as possible.

"Ok. Have fun with Relena and Hilde, guys!" Quatre waved to Heero and Duo.

It finally dawned on Duo. "_You're leaving us with them?!_"

"_Relax, Duo,_" Heero counseled. "_Just think about the food we're about to eat._"

Relena lifted Heero's wrist in the air and flopped it up and down. "Say, 'bye-bye', Heero!"

Then it dawned on Heero. "_Wait! Come back!!_"

"Let's go have some fun, baby-chans!" Hilde sang… and it was scary.

"_NNOOOOOOO!!!_"

A/N:  That's that! More chappies to come! So, lemme know what kind of chapters you wanna read, and then hit me with "the mallet of inspiration". *Straps on a helmet* Review, review, review! Ok? Ok! Sayonara! ^__________^


	13. Knocked Out and Starving

A/N: I guess I forgot to mention Duo and Heero's ages, didn't I? sweat-drop The specific age is unknown, but they are between 9-12 months. But, remember that Heero and Duo advanced for their age since they're actually 16 years old in reality. Sorry for any confusions.  
Thanks for the reviews! … and the mallets … and the sledgehammer. As requested/demanded here's Ch. 13.

**Knocked Out and Starving**

Scrub, scrub, scrub… More bubbles. "Uh-oh." Scrub, scrub, scrub! … More bubbles. "Aw, crap." Scrubscrubscrubscrub!! … Super-sized bubbles. Time to panic. Scrubscru—!

"Quatre!" Trowa emphasized as he held back his friend's arm. He lowered his eyes and gawked at the mountain of foam on the floor in front of him. Looking back at the Arabian, he chose his words carefully. "Do you know what you're doing?"

Quatre paused nervously and blinked. "No. I'm sorry. I guess I don't." He scratched his head and looked down at the mess he made.

Trowa flicked off the small pile of suds on top of Quatre's blond head. "Don't worry about it."

Wufei's shoes squeaked on the foamy floor as he approached them. "Here, try using this." He crouched down on the other side of Quatre and presented a soggy sponge. "It's much more efficient," he concluded.

Quatre let the sponge plunk into his hands. He gave it a light squeeze and watched the thin streams of water gush out, slither across his skin, and drip onto the floor. "So, I just wipe the suds away?"

Wufei nodded and his eyes seemed to say, 'It's just that simple'.

* * *

"_So hungry…_" Duo croaked. He sat on top of the dining table with his head hung low and his arms limp at his sides.

Heero sat next to him and glared from the corner of his eye. It was the sixth time Duo had said that, and the more he chanted those two little words, the more Heero became aware of his own malnourishment.

"_So hungry…_" Seventh time.

Heero wasn't sure which came first: his growl of annoyance or his stomach's growl of starvation.

Hilde sat down, crossed her legs, and observed the infants' ordeal. She placed a couple of guesses as to what Duo might be saying in his baby language, but judging by Heero's reactions she was glad that she couldn't understand his speech.

Hilde sighed. "Did you find them yet, Relena?" Nag, nag, nag… But, what else could she do? It wasn't her fault that Ms. Pacifist misplaced the jars of baby food.

"I know I put them in this bag!" she claimed earlier.

Hilde sighed again and thumped her head on the table.

"_So, so, so hungry._" A change of pace, but nonetheless the eighth time.  
  
Heero shook his head and mentally chased away the hallucinations of Duo on a silver platter with an apple in his mouth.

"I found the food!" Relena resonated with glee.

"YAY!" Duo cheered for everyone to hear.

To say the least, Heero was grateful. To say more, he nearly fainted with happiness as his brain temporarily shut down of everything that was sane. However, this moment of bliss didn't last long at all once he and Duo saw the food.

"_Gerber baby food?_" Duo whined out loud. His cheery face fell, and confusion and disgust took its place. Duo grabbed Heero's shoulders, now with a worried look. "_But, what about cheeseburgers and fries? Or steaks? Spaghetti?! Sushi?!?_"

Heero slapped the baka's face and grabbed _his_ shoulders. "_Get a grip, stop hyperventilating, and calm down._"

Duo raised and lowered his chest, taking deep breaths like a woman in labor.

"_Eat what is given to you and don't complain. Just be grateful that you're eating anything at all._" Heero released his grasp and peeled off Duo's fingers from his own shoulder.

Duo blinked. He had ignored Heero's words of wisdom and suddenly realized that he got slapped. "_Dude, that hurt!_" He rubbed his stinging cheek and didn't notice the large vein on Heero's forehead.

* * *

Quatre leaned against the wall and viewed the entire bathroom. "I think we're finally done," he smiled victoriously.

Wufei crossed his arms and scrutinized the place further. "You missed a spot over there, Barton." He pointed his finger across the room, a good distance from where Trowa was standing.

Trowa exhaled lightly. "Ok, I'll get it." He picked up his sponge from the counter and walked where Wufei directed. Now, we all know how graceful and non-klutzy Trowa is, but the wet sponge on the floor in his path proved us wrong. As soon as Trowa put his weight on the sponge, the floor slid from under him and sent him crashing down to the ground, landing on his back with a loud and echoing THUD. "…ow…"

* * *

After getting slapped on the other cheek, Duo came to his senses and quit complaining… for the moment.

"Ok, little baby-chans," Relena finished laying out all the jars of baby food on the table before them and waited with her hands folded in front of her. "Which one do you want?"

The assortment of flavors caught the infants by surprise. There was peach, applesauce, carrot, pea, potato, banana, prune, sweet potato, squash, and green bean. [These are actual flavors! I was curious and looked them up. ;]

"_What baby would want to eat something that's prune flavored?_" Duo stuck out his tongue. "_Yuck._"

No sooner had he spoken, Heero pointed to the jar of prune flavored baby food and said, "Da."

Duo face-faulted. "_That's just wrong._"

Relena picked up the requested jar and twisted off the lid. "Ready to eat, Heero?" She was all smiles and clearly excited to feed her beloved Heero.

Heero nodded and opened his tiny mouth. "Ah."

"Ok! Here we g—oh, wait. You're not ready yet."

"_What?!_"

"_Ha ha._" Smack! "_…ow._"

Relena left the table to dig through the 'baby bag'.

"What about you, Duo?" Hilde leaned in closer. "Go on, pick a flavor," she beamed.

Duo groaned and pointed to the applesauce flavored jar. "Da."

"Good choice! That's what I would've went for." She tossed up the jar and caught it between her hands. With a flick of her wrist, the cap whirled in circles, releasing the smell of applesauce. It didn't smell bad, but it smelled different; not like your average applesauce scent.

Duo's stomach growled. 'Maybe this won't be so bad after all.'

* * *

"Are… are you ok, Trowa?" Quatre whispered as he knelt down next to his comrade.

"I think he's unconscious," Wufei lightly kicked Trowa's foot.

* * *

Relena returned with two cloths in her hand. "Look at these adorable bibs I found, Hilde!"

Hilde gasped with glee. "They're adorable!"

To the girls, yes, they were cute. But, to the guys, they were horrifying. First of all, the bibs were both pink… very pink. Secondly, the bibs were covered in rainbows.

Hilde and Relena swooped in like merciless Moble Dolls and tied on the Girly Bibs of Doom around Duo and Heero's necks.

"There!" Relena pinched Heero's cheeks. "Now, you're ready, Heero-kun!"

* * *

"What do we do now, Wufei?" Quatre sputtered.

"We finish cleaning."

"But, what do we do about Trowa?"

"He's fine," Wufei reasoned.

"But, he's unconscious!"

"He'll wake up sooner or later."

Quatre sighed.

* * *

"It's feedin' time!" Hilde shouted like a sports announcer.

Relena's smile dropped; she fell silent. "Where are the spoons?"

"_I don't need a spoon._" Duo barked as he reached for the unreachable jar of baby food.

"I gave them to you, Relena."

"_Come… to… papa!_" Stretch, reach, arg.

"Yes, but then I gave them back to you when I went to get the bibs."

"_Who cares about spoons!_"

"No, you didn't."

"_Just lemme use my fingers!_"

"Yes, I did!"

"_Heero, just kill me now._"

"_Mission accepted…_"

"_No wait!!!_"

* * *

After placing Trowa's body in the bathtub, Quatre wiped away the last pile of foam. He turned to Wufei for approval. "Are we finished now?"

"And leave the floor slippery and wet for someone else to fall?" he scoffed. "I wish."

Quatre blinked. "… I'll go get the towels." He slowly backed up and retreated.

* * *

"No, you didn't!"

"_I… can't… breathe, Heero!_"

"Yes, I did!"

"_Help!_"

"No, you—!! Oh, wait, the spoons are right here on the table."

Everyone sweat-dropped.

Heero released Duo's braid and let him unravel it from around his neck.

"_Thanks for nothing, Heero._"

"_Your welcome._"

* * *

Quatre and Wufei shuffled across the floor on all fours with towels under their hands. Within minutes the floor was dry and all sparkly-like.

Wufei wrung the wet towel over the sink and faced Quatre. "There, now we're done."

Quatre sighed in relief. "Good." However, his expression changed when he took sight of Trowa in the bathtub, still out cold. "What should we do with Trowa?"

A/N: Lots more comin'! Please review! Share ur thoughts and stuff you'd like to see in the future. Duo and Heero won't be babies forever, so hurry and submit ur ideas! Thanks again! hugs reviewers


	14. The Evil Step

A/N: Gomenasai for the long wait, my faithful readers!! I got lazy and then my computer got a virus… and then I got lazy again. gets on her knees and buries her face in her hands I'm sorry!!

****

**The Evil Step**

"Be careful… Watch his head."

_THUNK_

"Wufei!" Quatre whispered loudly.

Ignoring Mr. Winner's finger pointing, Wufei shuffled out of the bathroom with Trowa's limp upper half. "Relax. He unconscious; he didn't feel anything." He slid his hands under Trowa's armpits and raised him higher off the floor. His back was a little wet from lying in the bathtub. "Where to?"

Quatre held back a sigh and thought for a moment. "Downstairs, if possible." He lifted Trowa's legs and held them each against his waist. Trowa's body swayed back and forth between Quatre and Wufei.

"Why not leave Barton in his room?" Wufei protested. He wasn't feeling lazy or anything, but carting a body like Trowa's down a long flight of narrow stairs… it was absurd.

"But, we can't leave him alone up here."

Wufei raised an eyebrow, giving him a 'sure we can' stare.

"Look at his head," Quatre instructed.

It was a head… What was there to look at? "I don't see anything."

"Look again."

Trowa's head rested heavily against Wufei's chest, his visible eye was loosely shut, his mouth was partly open, and the wet tips of his hair were clumped together. Was this a trick question? Wufei shrugged in all honesty.

Quatre shifted his weight. "He has two enormous bumps on his head."

"…Where?" Wufei looked, tilting his head.

Quatre waddled forward, bending Trowa's body into a boomerang shape. Dropping his left leg gently to the floor, Quatre pointed to Trowa's head with his free hand. "There… and there."

Wufei studied the two bumps. One was from Trowa's fall on the slippery tile floor, and the other was from Wufei's steering error between Trowa's head and the door panel. The swelling wasn't much, so Wufei didn't see any reason to fret. "What's your point?"

Quatre's eye twitched. "We have to take care of Trowa: make sure his head injuries are minor and then treat them. Relena and Hilde may also need our assistance with the babies—er… Heero and Duo. So, it would be best if we could be available to both Trowa and the—Heero and Duo." He paused to study Wufei. He seemed to understand, but by his expression, the Chinaman wasn't looking forward to the task at hand. Quatre waited for Wufei to speak first, which took a while.

"Fine." Wufei hoisted Trowa's torso up off the ground again. His head rolled back and forth, following Wufei's pivoting movement as they straightened out in the hallway. "Start walking, I'll follow," he announced his readiness. With a smile and a nod from Quatre, the new mission was underway.

It wasn't as easy as Quatre thought. Walking backwards was simple, but walking backwards while carrying Trowa's lower half was tricky. After various stumbles and impatient vibes from Wufei, Quatre decided that minor alterations must be made. "Can we stop for a second?" Wufei curtly nodded and allowed Trowa's upper half to slink down to the floor.

After setting Trowa's lower half down on the floor, Quatre went straight to work. He pulled up and re-adjusted his pants, ran his fingers through his bangs, and rolled up his sleeves just past his wrists. _Now, for Trowa…_ He was remained motionless and showed no signs of snapping out of his deathlike trance. Quatre turned around and backed up closer and stood between Trowa's feet. He stooped down, picking up each leg at the ankle and sandwiching himself between them, like before. _Much better._ Quatre peeked over his shoulder. "Thanks for waiting, Wufei. Ready to go?"

Trowa's head rested peacefully on Wufei's right foot with his legs propped up by Quatre at a 45-degree angle. No signs of awareness whatsoever.

Wufei hoisted up his half of the body while sliding his hands under Trowa's arms above his elbows. "Yes, let's go."

The two teens plodded down the hallway like a couple of pallbearers with a newly deceased. Everything was going smoothly… that is, until Quatre stopped again.

Wufei counted to ten. "What now?"

"Well," Quatre began, peeking over his shoulder. "We've come to the stairs. How should we go about this?"

"…Put one foot in front of the other, Winner."

Quatre face-faulted. "Okay." As his flush began to fade away, Quatre cleared his throat and took his first step down the stairway.

"Well done, Winner. We'll be downstairs in no time," Wufei teased.

The Arabian let out a dull 'heh heh' chuckle followed by a sigh.

The two proceeded down the flight of stairs in a rhythmic beat. Quatre took a step down, and Wufei took a step down at the same time. Their pace turned into a steady heartbeat. The staircase creaked, welcoming the arrivals, but one step didn't like the new company…

The naughty step let out a hostile snarl, roared its mightiest creak, and snapped under Quatre's foot. The blonde's heel slipped out from under him, but the naughty step wasn't done with the human…

The step changed its mood from naughty to mischievous and loosened a nail that had once held it together with the intention of catching the boy's fall. Indeed it did…

As his heel slipped, Quatre instinctively let go of Trowa's legs and held out his arms for balance. However, gravity was siding with the evil step. Quatre's body and Trowa's legs plummeted straight down for the step of doom. Trowa's legs landed on the edge of the step with a _thunk_, while Quatre's backside landed on the edge of the step's nail with a… lot of pain. The mansion echoed with an intense shriek and a series of Arabian curses. Poor, innocent Quatre…

Out of shock, Wufei dropped Trowa's upper half, sending the clown's heavy body steamrolling over Quatre and down the entire flight of stairs. Judging by the way Trowa's body lay tangled and motionless on the floor, it was safe to say that he was still unconscious. On that note, Wufei devoted his attention to the more alert teen.

"Are you alright?" The Chinaman gave him a look of genuine concern as he knelt by his side.

Quatre propped himself up on his scraped elbows, wincing. "I think so," he breathed through clenched teeth.

Wufei scanned his body for any injuries, but found none. "How does your back feel?"

Quatre squeezed his eyes shut. "It hurts."

"Try not to move; I'm going to carry you downstairs." The blonde nodded. Wufei coiled his arms around Quatre's shoulders and under his knees, holding him like a baby. With a hushed grunt, Wufei lifted him off the evil step.

Quatre held onto the back of Wufei's neck collar and let his other arm dangle freely. But he felt as if he forgot something. Quatre opened his eyes and looked down. "Where's Trowa?"

"He's," Wufei cautiously stepped over the evil step, "down there," he pointed with his gaze and plodded down the _good_ creaking steps.

"…I didn't know Trowa could bend like that," Quatre voiced with a mixture of worry and humor.

Wufei smirked. "I don't think he knows that either," he said, voicing his sense of humor.

"What the heck happened?!" Hilde's footsteps echoed across the hall. She stopped abruptly in front of the tangled corpse. With a gasp, the German girl knelt down next to Trowa's body and checked for a pulse.

Relena brushed passed her and clutched the stair's handrail. "Are you two alright? We heard a loud crash!"

Wufei stopped at the base of the stairs and stiffened his knees under the extra weight in his arms. "One of the steps shattered under Winner and he fell on it. We dropped Barton and then he fell all the way down to the bottom."

"Why would you drop Trowa?" Relena barked.

"And why is he unconscious?!" Hilde joined in.

"That bathroom better be sparkling!" Relena blurted.

"…"

"Uh… The bathroom's clean," Quatre began. "We didn't mean to drop Trowa; it was an accident. And Trowa's unconscious because he fell in the bathroom."

"…"

"Boys are such klutzes," Hilde concluded with her chin turned up.

Silence. Reeeeeach… nothing. Silence. Reeeeeeeeeeach… nothing. Silence. Reee—SMACK!

"_Owwww!_" Duo howled and rubbed his red hand. "_Whaddya do that for, Heero?!_"

"_You're never going to reach that jar._ "

Duo crammed his hand into his mouth and narrowed eyes. Heero crossed his arms and turned his head away.

The babies pouted.

Duo gasped and yanked out his slobbery fist. "_Gimme your spoon; I got an idea!_"

Heero slowly turned around, raising an eyebrow.

The braided baby sighed. "_…I promise I won't try to eat it this time,_" he reasoned in a dull tone.

"_Hn._" Heero extended his arm out to Duo with the spoon held loosely in his hand.

Duo hastily snatched it with glee and tittered impishly. "_Thanks pal!_" He set Heero's spoon down in front of him next to his own spoon.

To Heero's puzzlement, Duo untied his braid and gave his head a dramatic, sexy shake. "_…What are you_ _doing?_"

Duo held up a finger with his braid's black rubber band around it in Heero's face. "_Let the pro show you how it's done_…" He twirled his finger, smirking the entire time. Duo grabbed his spoon and used the rubber band to tie the two spoons together at the handles. He raised the conjoined spoons up over his head like an Olympic flaming torch. "_Ha ha!_"

Heero blinked a couple of times.

"_Now, watch this…_" Duo held one end of the spoons at the very tip and reached across the table, toward the jar of baby food sitting innocently on the chair in front of him. Reeeach… _tink_. "_I touched it!_"

"_Hurray,_" Heero cheered apathetically.

Duo stuck out his tongue with crossed eyes and continued on with his mission. Reeeeeeach… _tink_. "_…Almost got it…_" Reeeeeeeeeeach… _TINK…thunk_. "_Ooh…_"

"_…You knocked it over._"

"_Uh-huh._"

"_…Now what?_"

Duo grinned in a way that resembled the Grinch who stole Christmas. "_You hungry?_"

"I think I can walk now, Wufei."

The ex-05 pilot had his doubts, but nonetheless he complied with Quatre's request and slowly lowered his legs down—the grip around his shoulders tightened. Quatre returned the grip and used Wufei for balance. Together, they descended the final step and turned the corner.

Hilde looked up from Trowa's sprawled out body and noticed something that she didn't mean to notice. "Um… Quatre? You have a tiny hole in the back of your pants."

The pair stopped plodding. The clueless blonde peeked over his shoulder and looked down. "Oh my." A tiny flush clouded his face.

Although Relena shouldn't have looked, she lowered her gaze and gasped. "Quatre, y-you're bleeding."

The tiny flush grew. "Oh dear."

Wufei found the Arabian's predicament entertaining; while upstairs, the evil step creaked with laughter and congratulated the nail's victory piercing on the human's rear.

Reeeeeeeeeach… scoop… gulp. "_Mmm…_"

Reeeeeeeeeach… scoop… gulp. "_Hn…_"

"_My turn! My turn!_" Snatch.

Glare. "_I wasn't done._" Snatch.

Blink, blink.

Reeeeeeeeeach… scoop… snatch! … gulp.

"_Mmm… Thanks, pal!_"

Glare. SMACK! "_Mine._"

Twitch, twitch. "_…Yours._"

"Are you sure you don't need help?" Hilde sang and glanced at Wufei who rolled his eyes in return.

"I-I'm fine. I can take care of my… self," Quatre stuttered and painfully waddled up the stairs—carefully avoiding the evil step that growled back.

Duo's stomach growled. "_Are you done yet?_" He stared at the Japanese baby with big puppy eyes.

… scoop… gulp. "_…_"

Duo narrowed his eyelids. "_Does the word 'share' mean anything to you??_"

Reeeeeeeach… scoop… "_…_"

That did it. Duo was hungry and impatient. It was time to teach Heero a lesson in sharing. He threw his arms out to snatch the spoons, but Heero leaned back to evade his grasp. However, the tips of Duo's fingers flicked the spoons and triggered a catapult reaction, sending the goopy baby food flying through the air and splattering all over Heero's face.

The entire scene froze and everything fell silent… until Duo burst out laughing.

Relena and Hilde worked together and carried Trowa's corpse to the living room sofa. Oh yeah… and Wufei _watched_.

"Thanks for helping out, Chang," Hilde emphasized.

Wufei leaned against the wall and crossed his ankles. "Your welcome, Schbeiker."

Before Hilde could open her mouth to engage in a verbal fight, Ms. Peacecraft stepped between the two and changed the conversation. "So, how long has Trowa been knocked out, Wufei?" she asked politely and sweetly.

"He's been out for approximately fifteen minutes."

"Oh." Relena quickly ran out of things to say.

Wufei took the liberty of starting a new and alarming conversation. "So, how long has Yuy and Maxwell been left unsupervised, onnas?"

"OH NO!!" The onnas shouted in unison and darted out of the living room.

Wufei walked across the room and sat down on the cushy love seat next to the sofa. "Peace and quiet at last…" He laid back and closed his eyes for a much needed dose of meditation.

A/N: How long will Wufei's peace and quiet last? What will Relena and Hilde discover in the kitchen? Will Quatre be able to sit again? Will Trowa _ever_ wake up?? Find out in the next chapter! BWAHAHAHAHA! …please review. Thank you. (I'll try not to be lazy anymore.)


	15. Is That A Challenge?

A/N: I'm back! And... I don't have an excuse for my slow updatedness. I'm _really _sorry! But thanks so much for all ur reviews! They really do help me! Okie-dokie, enough waiting! Here's chapter 15!!

**Is That A Challenge?**

"Are you _sure_ you guys can handle this?" Hilde leaned against the bathroom's doorpost facing the hallway. "I mean, every time Duo and Heero get a bath, you guys screw it up... somehow."

Quatre wrinkled his nose; not from Hilde's remark, but from the unpleasant smell coming from Duo's... dirty diaper. Meanwhile, Duo howled in protest from the blonde's cold hands.

"How hard can it be to give two babies a bath?"

Wufei turned the bath water on full blast to drown out the woman's nagging. Yet it was also a sign of a challenge.

"You do your job, and we'll do ours," the Asian declared.

Hilde rolled her eyes. _Men..._ "Alright." She pushed herself off the threshold and swung her arms behind her. "I'll leave you to your duties." As she began to depart, something stopped her, literally. "Oh, by the way... Heero's escaping," Hilde spoke casually and stepped over the rapidly retreating baby.

"Yuy!!" Wufei's voice echoed down the hallway.

* * *

Ms. Schbeiker plodded lazily down the stairs, all of the sudden feeling extremely tired. It felt like it was midnight, but in actuality, is was only 7:30 in the evening. After finally stepping off the last step, Hilde strode across the living room dragging her heels.

The sofa was drawing her in like a tracker beam. _Oh, to finally sit down..._ she thought dreamily as she brushed her hand along the arm of the couch. But before she could enjoy the pleasure of sitting down, something—yet again—stopped her, literally.

It was just Trowa's leg; it stretched itself out, taking up the entire couch. Wait... Trowa _moved_! He lives!

Hilde gasped and bent over Trowa's corpse. Whether Hilde was seeing things or not, Trowa was currently not moving. Timidly, the shorthaired girl tapped his shoulder.

"Trowa?"

Hilde received no response.

"Trowa? ...Trowa!" Time to do things the hard way... She latched onto both his shoulders and—to put it mildly—gently shook his body. "Wake up!" After a good shake, Hilde let go and waited, still hovering over him.

Nothing. Oh, wait... no, never mind. Trowa laid there on the couch, just taking up space and rudely preventing Hilde the pleasure of sitting down.

The woman groaned. "Where's Duo's big mouth when you need it."

"NO!" Trowa shouted and shot up like a bullet, conking heads with the unsuspecting Hilde.

The German girl fell to the floor with a _thud_. "Owww!" she moaned, holding her head between her knees.

Trowa blinked. "I'm... awake?"

Hilde sucked in air through her bared teeth. "Yes, you're awake! Aw, man. That _really_ hurt."

"I'm sorry." No-name slid off the couch and knelt next to Hilde. "I didn't mean to—"

"It's okay." Hilde's painful smile slowly twisted into a sheepish grin. "Besides, it was your hair that hurt me the most. Oi, I swear... you and Duo have the most deadliest head of hair."

Trowa curved his lips ever so slightly and played along. "It's mainly used for self-defense," he said as he ran his fingers through his pointy bangs.

Hilde chuckled cheerfully, forgetting her headache for a brief moment and her desire to sit on the cushy couch.

The ex-pilot offered his hand and pulled the slightly dizzy lass to her feet. It was then he realized that he wasn't in the bathroom where he last remembered. "How did I get down here?" Trowa scanned the room... the _silent_ and _empty_ room. "And where is everybody?"

Hilde shifted her weight and planted her hands on her hips. "Okay, here's the story. After you knocked yourself unconscious, Wufei and Quatre carted you down the stairs and _dropped_ you. So, while Relena and I came to your rescue, Duo and Heero decided to have a little food fight and they _completely_ trashed the kitchen in the process! Relena and I are _still_ cleaning it up!" Hilde threw her hands up and plopped onto the nearby couch. _Ahhh... sweet and glorious couch..._ She reclined as far as she could and brought her knees to her chest. "Oh, and Quatre and Wufei are giving them a bath right now..."

* * *

"_Run, Heero! Save yourself!!_" the naked Duo hollered, squirmed, cheered him on, and basically just gave Quatre a hard and awkward time.

Indeed, Heero did run—er crawl across the hallway. _Pit pat pit pat pit pat_. But, alas, the adolescent infant could not crawl fast enough...

"Gotcha!" Wufei swooped in and scooped up baby-food-covered Heero. "You _will_ be clean before this night ends, Yuy."

Heero responded with a death glare. _That sounds like a challenge..._

* * *

__

Trowa stood quietly and soaked up all the information Hilde gave him. Funny, the last thing he remembered was giving the teen toddlers a bath. It was like a weird déjà vu. "How long have I been unconscious?" he asked.

Hilde stared up at the ceiling to think. "For about... two hours," she concluded.

Trowa paused and slowly nodded. With nothing else to ponder, he turned on his heel and walked away.

"Hey, where're you going?" Hilde perked up from the couch.

"Upstairs," Trowa stated simply and continued walking.

"Okay. Oh! Watch your step on those stairs; there's a step missing."

Trowa arched an eyebrow. "?"

* * *

Mr. Barton stood blankly in front of the bathroom door. There was a lot of commotion coming from the other side. The ex-Gundam pilot considered retreating. Or perhaps he should just wait a minute or two? Nah... just go for it...

Trowa curled his fingers into a fist. knock knock knock The sound of KER-SPLASH resonated, followed by a Chinese curse of some kind. 

"...Just walk away," Trowa told himself silently. "Maybe they didn't hear you knock."

But curiosity poked his brain. _Knock Knock Knock_!

"J-Just one minute!" Quatre's panicky voice pierced through the door and into Trowa's ears.

_Are they in trouble?_ "Quatre? It's just me, Trowa."

"Trowa?!"

"TWOWA!" Duo chimed in, adding little splashes to the mix.

Taking that as an invite, 'Twowa' opened the door and stepped over the threshold. What he saw next was something he didn't expect...

Wufei crawled over the side of the bathtub and plunked onto the tile floor. The Chinaman was soaked to the marrow with soapsuds all over his body.

Trowa blinked as he watched Wufei wring out his shirt, and behind him, Duo and Heero snickered.

"Trowa! You're awake! We were beginning to worry about you. How does you head feel?" The blonde knelt on his knees with his arms over the side of the tub—one hand clasped onto Duo's braid.

"I'm fine," Trowa answered as he ventured deeper into room. This time, however, he was being careful where and how he stepped on the wet floor.

Wufei took off his soggy shoes and threw them into the sink. He glanced at the conscious boy for half a second as he made his way out the door, his socks on his feet squishing with every step.

Once again, curiosity poked Trowa's brain. "What happened to Wufei?"

Duo rubbed foam in his face and giggled. Blindly, he reached out for Heero and poked the Japanese baby on the chin. Heero swatted Duo's hand away and wiped off the foam on his chin with his arm, accidentally smearing it across his face.

"Well, frankly," Quatre began, gently rubbing the foam from Duo's eyes, "he 'slipped'," the blonde eyed Heero, "and fell into the tub."

Duo chuckled, the image still floating in his mind.

"Hn," Heero responded, looking an awful lot like the Santa Clause of Doom with his foamy beard and glare.

Trowa nodded. "I see." The unibang teen knelt down next to Quatre and rolled up his sleeves. "You need help?" he asked, even though he already knew the answer.

"Thanks," Quatre sighed in relief. "Uh oh."

"What?"

"Duo, where's the bar of soap?"

All eyes turned to Duo.

"_How should I know?_"

"_You dropped it when Wufei fell, remember?_" said Heero.

"_Oh, yeah,_" Duo laughed sheepishly.

"Any idea what they're saying, Trowa?"

The baby translator tapped his finger against the side of the tub. "I'm not sure exactly, but I'm guessing that Duo lost the bar of soap."

Quatre groaned. "That was the last bar. The other one we had was lost after Heero tossed it on the floor where Wufei could slip on it."

Heero smirked. "_Mission complete._"

"_Wait, I think I found the soap,_" Duo bubbled, his mouth partly underwater as he reached down and pulled up the bar. "_Here it is!_"

"_Mission botched,_" Heero scowled.

"_Here you go, Heero._" Duo held out the bar of soap with two hands.

"_No thanks._"

"..._Why not?_"

Heero slowly breathed. "_Because you already used that one._"

"_So?_"

Heero avoided using the term 'disgusting' and tried to explain in a different way. "_So, I'd rather not think about the last place you washed with that bar of soap._"

Duo sweat-dropped. ""

"What were they saying?" Quatre inquired.

Trowa twitched. "Nothing important..."

* * *

A/N: Sorry again for making you guys wait so long for this chapter. I'll try to work on updating quicker. Please review! Reviews encourage me to update! winks Thanks for reading! 


	16. Thanks for the Caffeine!

**A/N: **Okay… um… I have _no excuse_ for not updating for about a half a year. I feel like the most terrible person in the world! I'm really sorry for not updating sooner, my faithful readers (if you're still out there!). So, please forgive me and enjoy chapter 16 as my own little peace offering!

**Thanks for the Caffeine**

Quatre and Trowa carefully closed the guest bedroom door and tiptoed down the hall. Upon reaching the stairs, the boys let out a sigh simultaneously; bath time can sure be exhausting. The two ex-pilots trudged down the stairs—careful of the missing step—and collapsed onto the nearest couch.

"Quatre, is that you?" Hilde called from the kitchen.

The young multi-millionaire's voice cracked a "Yes." Apparently, he sounded a little groggier than he meant to.

Hilde poked her head around the corner. "Are you okay? You sound terrible."

_Thanks…_ "I'm alright, Miss Hilde. I'm just a little tired."

"'_Miss_ Hilde'? …Would you like some tea to wake you up, _Mr_. Quatre?"

A lopsided smile crept upon his lips. "Tea sounds great. Thank you."

"Comin' right up!" Apparently, she sounded a little perkier than she meant to…

…Trowa woke up.

"Can I have some tea also?" His tone was childlike.

"Oh, sorry, Trowa! I didn't see you. I'll be right back with your tea."

Hilde took two steps and stopped. "Where's Duo and Heero."

"They're asleep in the guest bedroom," Quatre responded leaning against the couch's arm.

"Are they squeaky clean?" Hilde smiled excitedly.

"For the most part," answered Trowa.

Hilde raised her eyebrows. "'For the most part'?"

Quatre rolled over on his side. "Heero was afraid of the soap," he yawned.

"…?" Hilde excused herself from the room and ducked into the kitchen. _They need caffeine… badly._

* * *

"_Heero?_" 

"…"

"_Heero?_"

"……"

"_Heero!_"

"_WHAT DO YOU WANT!_"

Duo paused, slightly shocked from Heero's sudden outburst. "_Why didn't you answer me right away?_"

"_Because I was ignoring you. What do you want?_"

"_What?_"

Heero tugged on the blanket and covered his head. "_I was ignoring you,_" he repeated slowly.

"_Am I really that annoying that you can't even talk to me?_" Duo bellyached, while grabbing back his side of the blanket, uncovering Heero to some extent.

There was one thing, however, that Duo failed to recognize: Heero was cranky.

The little Japanese baby seized the entire blanket. "_Just leave me alone,_" he said in a very threatening manner.

Okay, Duo was starting to get the picture here. After all, neither of them has slept very much at all, considering their infant age. But stealing the entire blanket? Now that's just rude.

Duo yanked the blanket back and quickly wrapped himself in it, creating a snug Duo Burrito. Yummy!

But it was not yummy. Heero was certainly not in the mood for a Duo Burrito.

Blanket War II began…

* * *

The soothing smell of herbal tea filled Quatre's sinuses. At once, he perked up with great eagerness. 

His sudden movement stirred Trowa. The tea's aroma reached his nose, yet no emotion was triggered. Trowa wasn't much of a tea drinker; he preferred java. But at this point, any source of caffeine would suffice.

Relena strolled across the floor with perfect posture holding a silver platter with three cups of tea placed perfectly on it. She smiled perfectly and perfectly presented the two cups of perfect tea.

Quatre snatched the closest cup, muttered something resembling a "thank you", and chugged the hot liquid like a drunkard.

Trowa took his tired time and held the cup in his hands for warmth. He eyed Quatre out of the corner of his visible eye, feeling concerned for the blonde's sanity.

After an awkward silence, Relena spoke. "Where is Wufei?"

Trowa opened his mouth, but nothing came out. _That's a good question…_ he thought, closing his mouth. "I'm not sure," he finally decided.

"Oh." Relena turned her attention back to the blonde. "Quatre, do you know where Wufei is?"

Quatre lowered his cup and licked his tea-soaked lips. "I beg you pardon?"

"Where is Wufei?" she patiently restated.

With one last swig, Quatre finished his tea and considered Relena's question. "I'm not sure, but we shouldn't let his cup of tea go to waste." Without any warning, he swooped in and snatched the remaining cup of tea, and gulped it down.

* * *

The laboratory was dark, cold, and cluttered. It was then that Wufei assumed that only a crazy old man could work under these conditions. He ran his fingertips along the wall as he navigated his way to the only clear source of light. 

An old man hunched over an uneven desk, papers scattered everywhere. In his wrinkled hand he held an electric tool and in his claw hand he held a scrap of gundanium.

Wufei squinted; the white sparks coming from the old man's workstation strained his eyesight. The young teen took a step forward and addressed the old man, "Are you Dr. J?"

The old man stopped working. He looked up with his back still facing the Asian. "Who wants to know?"

"Chang Wufei."

"Ah, yes… Chang Wufei. A fine pilot… good lad."

A little annoyed, the good lad questioned again. "Are you Dr. J?"

"Of course I am." Dr. J turned around, his black goggles gleaming.

"I've come to talk to you about Yuy and Maxwell. They're still—"

"Oh!" the old man proclaimed. "Dear me, I almost forgot!" Dr. J chuckled.

Wufei was losing his patience. "You mean to tell me that you have had all this time and you haven't—"

Dr. J chuckled once again. "Gracious, no! I have already completed the molecular relapse mechanism."

For a brief moment, Wufei felt a bit of joy in his heart… his day of hell was finally going to end…

"However, I'll need a test subject."

**

* * *

A/N:** That's all for this chapter. Sorry again for the extremely slow update. I know it's kinda short, but I just had to get _something_ out there for you guys to read! 

Who's gonna be the test subject? Was caffeine such a good idea? Will Heero and Duo kill each other? Are these obvious questions too much to handle? Hmmm…

**Please Review!**


	17. The Test Subject

**A/N:** Oops… I forgot to update _again_. I can't tell you how thankful I am for those of you who have put up with me for the past months! I offer my most sincere apologies for the terribly slow updateand—once again—feel free to throw any hard and/or sharp objects at me!

**The Test Subject**

Trowa Barton gingerly sipped his cup of tea, still watching Quatre of the corner of his visible eye. Not that he was particularly worried about his friend's wellbeing; it's just that he was more… curious about the Arabian's current status.

Relena and Hilde stood side by side, staring at the blonde. No, he wasn't bouncing off the walls from all the caffeine he drank; Quatre Raberba Winner was more dignified than that. Instead he sat on the sofa, his back straight, and his folded hands trembling in his bouncing lap. Every once in a while he would blink, but even then, his blinking was faster than a bolt of lightning. Yes indeed, caffeine definitely surged through Quatre's system.

Quatre was well aware of the stares that focused on him. Oh, yes. That was why he stayed perfectly still—well, besides the twitching. It was all about self-control. Too many times in his life he had lost his precious self-control and acted on unstable impulses. He would not let it happen again. Caffeine or no caffeine.

The ringing of the doorbell echoed through the Winner Manor. Quatre shot up to his feet.

"I'll get it!" he yelled desperately. Any excuse will do to release all the pent up excess energy.

No one countered Quatre's declaration. They just watched him walk briskly across the room and out of sight.

* * *

After taking a deep breath and composing himself, Quatre opened the door.

A tall Asian man stood before him. Slick black hair cascaded down the man's shoulders ending below his shoulder blades. His white clothes appeared tight and too small for him, but his dark narrow eyes erased any humor in the matter.

_Do I know you?_ The question boomed in Quatre's mind, but he thought it was too rude of a question to address openly to a 'stranger'.

A "May I help you?" is what Quatre settled for.

The man arched an eyebrow. "It's me," he replied.

_That voice…_ "Wufei!" Quatre jumped up suddenly. _Blasted caffeine._

The so-called 'stranger' nodded and stepped over the threshold. His eyes revealed that was uncomfortable with the whole situation.

"Wha… Wha…" Quatre stumbled over his words. "What happened!" he finally screeched.

Wufei sighed. Or rather it started out as a sigh and ended in a growl. "Fifteen years happened."

* * *

A wave of gasps and outbursts erupted from the room. Wufei was being circled as if he was a totem pole.

"I went Dr. J's laboratory," Wufei began his tale, ending the circling. "Heclaimed that he fixed the machine, but needed a test subject. So, he volunteered me." Wufei crossed his arms and continued. "Obviously, the repairs he made proved to be successful. Dr. J will use this same technique to give Yuy and Maxwell's fifteen years back."

For a while, no one spoke. A silence drifted between them as they absorbed Wufei's information.

"So, Heero and Duo can go back to normal now?" Relena broke the silence, a hint of sadness in her voice. Heero is such a cute baby!

Wufei's tone was more of relief. "Yes."

"Great!" Hilde exclaimed. "Then we'll bring take them to Dr. J first thing in the morning!"

"In the morning?" Wufei shifted his weight. "Why not now?"

Hilde stared at him as if he grew a second head. "They're asleep right now. We can't just wake them; they're completely exhausted!"

Relena nodded with great enthusiasm. "Yes, that's right. They should be alert when it comes time to change back."

Trowa and Quatre (still slightly twitching) tossed their heads back and forth watching the dispute from the sidelines.

The obvious expressions on the women's faces told Wufei that their decision was final, written in blood. "First thing in the morning…" he conceded and stalked up the stairs for a night's rest. No reason for him not to be alert for tomorrow either. After all, it was a big day for him too. Wufei was not use to his aged form and would be glad to hand over the extra years to have that complete control again.

Strangely enough though, as Wufei strode down the hallway toward one of the many guest rooms, he could've sworn he heard the rustling of blankets in Heero and Duo's room…

* * *

**A/N:** Alright, I know this chapter wasn't very long, but at least I updated! does a happy dance I'm notone hundred percentsure, but I think the next chapter will probably be the last. So, as much as I don't deserve it, drops to knees please REVIEW! 


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